Crystal Palace - A Football Club in Crisis? Betting News on the next Palace Manager

Have the wheels well and truly come off at Selhurst Park or are current events part of a bizarre plan to give the other 19 teams in the Premier League a head start before 'The Eagles' go on a six month unbeaten run and challenge the big boys at the top of the league!

Sadly I and almost every Palace fan knows this season was almost over before it began. From the euphoria of a play-off final win at Wembley on 27th May, a chaotic summer took its toll on the South London club as they huffed and puffed, wheeled and dealed and ultimately failed to build a solid foundation for this forthcoming season.

Palace brought in players in abundance but mostly very average players and tried to knit a rather complicated pattern and following promotion to the 'top flight' in its current guise prove the critics wrong and stay there for more than a token one season for the first time in the Club's history.

To add into the equation the 25 man squad rule (youngsters aside) some somewhat mystifying questions were left unanswered and disharmony began to set in among the players. The squad that basically got us to the Premier League was to a certain degree broken up! The likes of Ramage, Garvan and Dobbie, instrumental in our promotion were left out, Moritz just left and Zaha is now bench warming at Old Trafford. Palace hitman Glenn Murray is still a long way off first-team action following knee surgery in May and no target man of his stature was brought in to replace him. Club captain Paddy McCarthy was included in the squad although he hasn't kicked a ball in anger for around 18 months. In addition no defensive coach was appointed.

As a result what palace fans feared has become reality. Eight games in and three points from a possible 24 has left the club second from bottom of the league table. A squad that has been chopped and changed far too regularly has mustered a paltry two goals conceded 13 in a run of five straight defeats, culminating in Monday's 4-1 home defeat by Fulham.

Desire, total commitment and enthusiasm are what you always get from Ian Holloway and he did a great job in leading Palace up in his first season but was he really up to the job?

After the opening day defeat to Spurs care of a dubious penalty decision, Holloway nearly blew a gasket and was ultimately fined and given a touchline ban for his reaction. I expected Holloway to galvanise the troops following the Spurs game, and that he and the players would come out with all guns blazing as they visited Stoke in the league and then Bristol City in the League Cup.
However a rather uncharacteristic spineless and soulless couple of performances (bar the first 45mins at the Britannia Stadium) were the tip of the iceberg as Palace stumbled like a naive bunch of newborns to adapt to the league and each other. Sure the guns were blazing but heads were all over the place and Palace were firing blanks! Also the usual effervescence wasn't there from the 'gaffer.' Perhaps it was all getting too much for the Bristolian. He looked like a man who'd worked himself to the bone all summer, was mentally fatigued, stressed and fresh out of new ideas.

The outcome was somewhat inevitable although it has left opinions divided amongst the fans. Holloway and Palace parted company this week and now Crystal Palace face league leaders Arsenal tomorrow lunchtime, both managerless and rudderless.

So who are the available targets to take up the managerial role, which to be fair is by any standards one of epic proportions! Palace need a man with experience, who commands respect, who can take charge of a dressing room that already seems fractured, who can get the best out of some pretty average players, play a system that suits the squad, someone that will help shore up the defence and be creative going forward, even if it is not pretty to watch and ultimately grind out results.
Crystal Palace FC at the moment is not a place for the feint hearted, so I suggest the new gaffer is mentally strong, someone who is prepared to role up his sleeves, be proactive and who can motivate a group of players who currently come across as disillusioned and lost in the headlights and he needs to do it fast.........no easy job by any means with Palace already 1/10 shots to be relegated!

According to the bookmakers the front running candidates are as follows:


Tony Pulis:
The 55 year-old Welshman took his first steps into management at Bournemouth in 1992, where he was a player/coach and then Harry Redknapp's assistant. He then took control when Redknapp left the club. He then went on to Gillingham before leaving in 1999 after a dispute with chairman Paul Scally. Pulis then had unsuccessful spells at Bristol City and Portsmouth before being appointed manager of Stoke City in 2002. He was sacked by Stoke in 2005 only to return a year later. His left Stoke in May 2013 following a falling out with chairman Peter Coates.

Management Style: Pulis has a reputation within the game for achieving solid results on small budgets and also maintains the proud record of never being relegated as a manager. Throughout his managerial career Pulis has used the long ball style of play.

Betting News: Pulis can be backed at 10/11 with Bet365 and most firms but 11/10 with Coral to be the next Palace boss.


Avram Grant:
Grant has spent the majority of his career coaching and managing in Israel, and also managing the Israeli national team for four years.
Grant moved to England in 2006 to become Technical Director of Portsmouth before being appointed Director of football at Chelsea in July 2007. Two months later, in September 2007, following the departure of José Mourinho, Grant was appointed manager of Chelsea. Despite steering the team into the Champions League final, the League Cup final and contesting the Premier League title to the last day, his contract was terminated at the end of the season. Grant returned to Portsmouth as Director of football in October 2009, and was made manager the following month. After the club's relegation to the Championship Grant resigned and, on 3rd June 2010, was appointed as manager of West Ham United, a role he held up until 15th May 2011, when he was sacked after the club was relegated to the Football League Championship. On 13th January 2012, Avram Grant was named the new manager of Partizan Belgrade. After guiding Partizan to their fifth consecutive Serbian championship, Grant resigned on 14th May 2012.

Management Style: Grant is known in Israel for giving a chance to young players in almost every club he coached. Grant is considered one of the most successful Israeli coaches. He has a reputation of a lucky winner in Israel, which caused the invention of the frequently used humorous term 'Hatachat shel Avram'. This means 'Avram's Ass,' a reference to the allegedly large amount of luck Grant enjoyed during the 2006 World Cup campaign

Betting News: William Hill go 4/1 for Grant to become the next Palace manager. Bet365 are as big as 10/1 on 'Avarm's Ass' to be next in the Palace hot seat!


Gianfranco Zola:
The 47 year-old Italian had a decorated playing career both in Italy and in England with Chelsea. He also won 35 caps for the Italian national team. He began his managerial career with the Italian U-21s before taking over at West Ham United in the Premier League in September 2008. On 11th May 2010, two days after the end of the 2009–10 season, West Ham announced the termination of Zola's contract with immediate effect. Avram Grant was announced as his successor on 3rd June 2010. He has been in charge of Watford since July 2012. In his first season, Zola led Watford to 3rd place and a play-off position, which then saw them progress to the final at Wembley. There, they lost 1-0 ironically to Crystal Palace.

Management Style: Zola likes his sides to play with a flair and has also received praise for integrating more youth products when manager of West Ham's first team.

Betting News: Zola is 9/1 with Paddy Power to take over at Selhurst Park, although Betfred go 25/1 on the same outcome.


Martin O'Neill:
The 61 year-old Northern Irishman began his managerial career in 1987 with Grantham Town. He went onto manage Wycombe Wanderers, Norwich City, Leicester City, Celtic, Aston Villa and Sunderland. He guided Leicester City to the Football League Cup final three times, in which he was twice victorious, in 1997 and 2000. In his time as Celtic manager between 2000 and 2005, he led the club to three Scottish Premier League titles and the 2003 UEFA Cup Final in Seville. O'Neill was sacked by Sunderland on 30th March 2013 after an eight-game run of five losses and three draws, leaving the team one point above the Premier League relegation zone with seven games left to play in the season. Overall Martin O'Neill has a 51% win ratio over his whole managerial career.

Management Style: O’Neill’s public image, though, is that of a nice guy and his management style has been built on inspiring his players, especially in the early days when, with his energy and enthusiasm. He worked wonders, often with decidedly ordinary individuals and teams. He is not one to doubt his own abilities.

Betting News: O'Neill is as short as 2/1 with Coral and as big as 4/1 with Boylesports to become Palace's next manager.


Chris Coleman, Neil Warnock, Alan Curbishly and Tony Popovic are also fancied candidates for the vacancy.

# Prices correct at time of going to press.

Where are they now? - England's Under-17 Euro Winning Squad of 2010

We are currently in the middle of a break in the world of top flight club football as the senior England international team try to cement a place in the World Cup Finals being held in Brazil next Summer.

Back on the 30th May 2010 England (below) were victorious in the European Under-17 Championships in Liechtenstein. This eight team tournament included some European powerhouses including the likes of France, Portugal, Czech Republic and Spain, who England defeated 2-1 in the final. That sought-after Euro Championship title win was England's first age-group title since 1993.

                         England celebrate winning the Under-17s Euro Championships in 2010





That 1993 triumph, at the European Under-18 Championship hosted in England, was earned by a team that included Paul Scholes, Gary Neville, Nicky Butt, Robbie Fowler and Sol Campbell who all went on to play for the senior team.

Three years after becoming the '2010 Young Kings of Europe,' only one of England's brilliant Under-17 team, Everton's Ross Barkley, is playing regularly in the English Premier League. So, where did it all go wrong for the golden generation?

The pressure for success at the top level of English club football is part of the problem. Managers may want to give younger players a chance but fear the consequences of failure.

There is a lot to play for in the Premier League. The clubs think about what happens when young players make mistakes. But if you instill confidence into players, they can show their abilities.

The influx of foreign players is something we have to look at but with some young players maybe things have become quite easy for them financially. They should leave the money aside and just concentrate on getting into the first team. All the rest will come.

Years ago, young players used to get more opportunities and statistics show the number of English players plying their trade for their respective clubs first team is sadly dropping. A lot are still in the academies when they should have been pushed on by now.

On the subject of ability Ray Wilkins who made his Chelsea debut at 17 and became club captain a year later said: "Technically, some of the young men in the academies are as good as it gets. But something goes slightly wrong when they get to a certain age. Is it that burning desire? Or is that situation where they feel they're not getting a chance so they don't work as hard? If you're not getting a chance, work doubly hard."


England Under-17 2010 Euro Winning squad:

GK:  Jack Butland 20 years-old, plays for Barnsley, on loan from Stoke City.

GK:  Sam Johnstone 20, plays for Yeovil Town on loan from Manchester United.

DF:  Bruno Pilatos 20, former Middlesborough player, now plays for Darlington in the Evo-Stik First Division North.

DF:  Luke Garbutt 20, plays for Colchester United, on loan from Everton.

DF:  Nathaniel Chalobah 18, plays for Nottingham Forest on loan from Chelsea.

DF:  Andre Wisdom 20, eighteen league and cup appearances for Liverpool's first team since Sept 2012.

DF:  Ben Gibson 20, made his first Middlesborough start on 6th Aug 2013. Previous loan spells at Plymouth, York and Tranmere.

DF:  Tom Thorpe 20, plys his trade in the Manchester United reserve team.

MF:  Conor Coady 20, plays for Sheffield United, on loan from Liverpool.

MF:  William Keane 20, One first-team appearance for Manchester Utd since 31st Dec 2011.

MF:  Joshua McEachran 20, plays for Watford, on loan from Chelsea.

MF:  Ross Barkley 19, Establishing himself as a first-team regular at Everton and made his England senior debut on 6th Sept 2013.

MF:  George Thorne 20, signed professional contract with West Brom in Jan 2010. Currently recovering from a serious knee injury following loan spells at Peterborough and Portsmouth.

MF:  Luke Williams 20, made his Middlesborough debut at just 16 back in Dec 2009. Has made a total of 22 starts for the North-East club.

FW:  Benik Afobe 20, signed a pro contract with Arsenal in Feb 2010. Yet to make a first team appearance for the Gunners. Suffered a serious knee injury last March following loan spells at Huddersfield, Reading, Bolton and Millwall.

FW:  Connor Wickham 20, After impressing at Ipswich Wickham at just 18 made a big money move to Sunderland in June 2011. Joined Sheff Wed on loan in Feb 2013 but now back with 'The Black Cats.'

FW:  Robert Hall 19, plays for Bolton Wanderers. Previous loan spells at Oxford Utd, MK Dons, Birmingham and Bolton, before finally signing for Bolton on a permanent basis on 1st July 2013.

FW:  Saido Berahino 20, Born in Burundi (East Africa) Berahino plays for West Brom. Previous loan spells at Northampton, Brentford and Peterborough.

Babes of the Month - Too hot to handle!

Ten Sizzling Football Sex Scandals!

1/ Oliver Kahn

Oliver Kahn is considered as one of the best German goalkeepers of all-time, but his actions off the field did not always go down well with the public.

He received plenty of negative publicity when in 2003 he ditched his pregnant wife Simone to be with night club hostess Verena Kerth, who was referred to as the 'Pierced Party Chicken' by some tabloids.

Bayern Munich commercial manager Uli Hoeness said at the time that the incident made him "vomit," and Kahn got plenty of criticism for his actions.

Kahn and Kerth's relationship lasted intermittently for five years.


2/ Malcolm Allison

The late Malcolm Allison's larger than life image was a mixed blessing.
In 1976, when Malcom Allison was managing Crystal Palace he took the Third Division side to the FA Cup semi-finals and despite his flamboyant nature Allison's managerial career was taking off, but he trashed it!

Allison's outspoken nature and womanising were of great interest to the tabloids and it was reputed that Allison had relationships with Christine Keeler of the Profumo scandal, singer Dorothy Squires and two Miss UK's.

In 1976, Allison received a Football Association disrepute charge after a News of the World photograph appeared showing him in the Crystal Palace players' bath with porn star Fiona Richmond whom he had invited to a training session. Ruining his career, Allison can take heart in knowing Richmond's biography "Tell Tale Tits" was more than likely dedicated to him!


3/ Tommy Docherty

After winning the FA Cup with Manchester United in 1977, then manager Tommy Docherty had the football world at his feet as he made plans to challenge Liverpool for domestic glory - until he was sacked for having an affair with the physio's wife Mary Brown, a woman 18 years younger than himself. And how many acres of newsprint would be expended on the story today had a contemporary Old Trafford boss left his wife and four children for the physio's missus?

Docherty told the press he was being punished for falling in love, but the United board were having none of it, sacking him for being in breach of his contract.

The Doc himself started ultimately unsuccessful legal proceedings against the board for defamation and wrongful dismissal, announcing his decision while sporting a black eye given to him by cuckolded magic-sponge man Laurie Brown.

The affair also resulted in the end of his marriage to Agnes, who had been his wife since December 1949. Tommy later married Mary Brown and they are still together after more than 30 years.

United fans mourned their loss with this creative reworking of Knees Up Mother Brown:
"Who's up Mary Brown? Who's up Mary Brown? Tommy, Tommy Docherty."


4/ Dwight Yorke and Mark Bosnich   

No player has made a more impressive entrance to Manchester United than Dwight Yorke.

Having arrived from Aston Villa for £12.6million in August 1998, he managed to make both the back and front pages of a Sunday tabloid a month later when it printed stills from a video found in the player's rubbish, which showed he and former Villa colleague Mark Bosnich involved in an orgy with four women and a transvestite, the keeper being whipped by one leather-clad blonde while Yorke had sex with her friend.

Former Villa ace Yorke and Australian keeper Bosnich secretly filmed themselves with the four women, and this was capped off with the fact that, during the orgy, Bosnich was curiously seen to be wearing a skirt.

Yorke is then said to have thrown the sordid video tape in the bin where a tabloid reader found it and exposed the story to the world.

It ushered in a golden age of Yorke shagging stories, of which his former landlady and friend Sheila Dudley memorably said: "If some girl comes to his house with her knickers in her handbag, it's up to him, isn't it?"

Best among them was the conquest Yorke had convinced that he was a local postman named Brian. She said of their trip to a nightclub: "People were coming past and saying 'hello' to him and he said it was because he delivered their letters. I believed him. He seemed a lovely bloke."

Hailed by the Old Trafford crowd with the song, "Dwight Yorke, wherever you may be, You are the king of pornography," the striker harumphed that the chant "set a bad example to kids," shortly before Sir Alex Ferguson sold him to Blackburn Rovers.


5/ Garrincha

Garrincha, also known as the 'little bird' became infamous for his off-field conquests.

After lighting up the 1958 World Cup with Brazil, Garrincha returned to Sweden on tour where he got a local girl pregnant. On his return home he was greeted by angry supporters. He then ran over his father and was found drunk at the wheel with no recollection of the events.

Things didn't stop there as seven years later Garrincha walked out on his wife
and eight daughters for a samba singer. The late Brazilian is alleged to have lost his virginity when he was 12 with wait for it........a goat and fathered at least 14 children in his bed hopping career.


6/ Ashley Young

In 2007 Ashley Young brought a whole new meaning to a pre-match routine, showing a lot more skin than required when he was caught exposing himself on the internet.

The scandal was revealed in British tabloid The News of the World and told how the then Aston Villa star and 'serial diver' had stripped and performed a sex act for a girl he had just met on the internet hours before he made his England international debut.


7/ Ronaldo

In 2008 Brazilian World Cup winner Ronaldo caused a stir while recovering from injury in Brazil when it was revealed he had picked up three prostitutes after dropping his fiancee at home.

But to the three times World Player of the Year's surprised he discovered the women he was about to do the dirty with were actually men.

Ronaldo, who was reported to be "very excited and wanted to go out and have fun," is said to have offered money to buy the prostitutes' silence, but one of the transvestites demanded more money before exposing the whole lurid tale to the media.


8/ Wayne Rooney

Before he became a Manchester United star, Wayne Rooney was finding his way in the world playing for Everton and having sex with aging prostitutes.

In 2004 Rooney, who was at the time dating his future wife, 16-year-old Coleen, was caught out visiting a brothel in the backstreets of Liverpool and then became known as the footballer who liked to visit grannys, after his conquest with a prostitute dubbed by her fellow compatriots the 'Auld Slapper' was revealed.

Rooney is alleged to have paid £45 per visit and this included one time when he slept with a 52 year-old granny and mother of seven.

Wayne even signed an autograph for one of the strippers Charlotte Glover, a prostitute who spoke up after the story unfolded revealing that Rooney paid her £140 for sex in a bathroom in a shabby flat and left her a signed note which read: "To Charlotte, I sh*gged u on 28 Dec. Loads of Love. Wayne Rooney."


9/ Franck Ribery, Karim Benzema and Sidney Govou

A sex scandal back in 2010 involving French footballers Franck Ribery, Karim Benzema and Sidney Govou resulted in them being questioned by the police following allegations they had been using the services of an under-aged prostitute. Ribery winger even admitted of having sex with a 17-year-old prostitute called Zahia, although he said he had thought the girl was over 18.

Sidney Govou and Karim Benzema were also linked to the scandal, although the pair denied any wrongdoing. The scandal was only a tip of the iceberg as far as the France national team are concerned, with all their dirty laundry revealed at the World Cup 2010.


10/ John Terry

Football fans were also in for a shock in 2010 as John Terry, one of England and Chelsea's most influential players, was caught cheating on his wife with Vanessa Perroncel, an underwear model and ex-partner of former Stamford Bridge teammate Wayne Bridge - rumours also suggested he had got her pregnant and paid for her abortion.

Although his wife may have decided to give him "one more chance" the revelations did cost Terry the chance to lead England at the 2010 World Cup. The 29-year-old also lost the respect of many fans as they declared they were with "Team Bridge".

Terry also got his comeuppance live on TV when Bridge refused to shake his hand, or even acknowledge him, when Chelsea met Manchester City in a Premier League clash a few weeks later.

How the 'Cookie' Crumbles!

Chris Coleman - Plenty of food for thought!

Ranting on about the state of international football in Britain and trying to put together a constructive and valid argument on why all our home nations are so poor and ineffective when the players pull on their national shirts is a futile exercise.

As football fans we are all aware of the club versus country argument, the failure of players to deliver on the pitch, should they actually grace us with their presence in the first place, along with the worrying lack of passion and desire to proudly wear the national shirt by many of these men that have been blessed with a gift for a sport that rewards them handsomely in more ways than one is baffling!

Our respective nations have failed to perform over many years now and most of us have our own views and thoughts as to why we are so limp in our attempts just to qualify for major tournaments let alone win anything. It doesn't look like things are going to change dramatically in the next few years and I would be surprised if I see any nation from the British Isles come close to winning a major trophy in my lifetime.

The reason I say that is because the events of last week simply re-iterate my disillusionment with our game at international level - farcical!

'Cookie' in his Palace playing days.

Mr Chris 'Cookie' Coleman (right) was one of my favourite players when he plyed his trade at Selhurst Park between 1991 and 1995 for my beloved Crystal Palace. Manager of the Welsh national team since January 2012 'Cookie' took his seat in the dugout in Macedonia on Friday night as his Wales team took on Macedonia in a World Cup qualifying fixture.

The 2-1 defeat in Skopje was not a major surprise, it was typical old-school Wales as they ended up losing a game they should have won, but the humiliating 1-0 defeat inflicted on the Wales under-21 side by their counterparts from San Marino, (that nation’s first competitive victory at any level since their under-17 side beat Andorra in 2002) simply compounded a farcical week. At the heart of all that has been the line peddled by optimists about the supposed existence of a conveyor belt of young talent   that would, in time, emerge to make Wales a different proposition.

'Cookie' joined the squad late in Macedonia, missing the final training session because he had lost his passport and missed the flight on Thursday. It was an oversight unfortunate enough on its own without the way it was compounded by Coleman’s claims that his subsequent late arrival didn't matter, because when Wales train abroad they do "next to nothing".

‘Cookie’ knows a lot of people are going to be looking at these turn of events and thinking that’s amateurish.

Then of greater consequence were his tactics and the clutch of what appeared to be mystifying substitutions the manager made as the game slipped away from Wales.

Why bring on defensive midfielder Andrew Crofts when they had Macedonia on the rack? Why bring on full-back Adam Matthews for an attacking midfielder? Why introduce striker Sam Vokes with just five minutes left?

Coleman also left the world’s most expensive player, Gareth Bale, on the bench rather than introduce him even for five minutes. There’s no suggestion at all of anything underhand on either Coleman’s part or Bale’s.

Coleman says he spoke to the player on the day of the game and he was not ready. Fine!

Coleman argued vehemently that Bale was only put among the replacements to provide psychological ammunition. But in deciding to put him on the bench, while having no intention of using him, Coleman opened himself up to inevitable criticism if the result went against Wales, which it subsequently did. I understand the psychological game he was playing but the ‘fear factor’ was only going to work if he’d brought him on. By not doing so, it was neither here or there.

I’d like to think Bale was genuinely injured on Friday night and could not play a part in Macedonia, but there’s a lot of politics involved in players – especially ones as expensive as Gareth – in playing for their countries.

Coleman has now presided over 11 competitive international matches. He’s won three, drawn one and lost seven.

Worryingly, in the last seven competitive encounters his team have scored seven times, but only twice from open play – Bale’s wonder-strike against Scotland at Cardiff City Stadium and Hal Robson-Kanu’s header in the return match at Hampden Park.

The defeat mathematically ended Wales' remote chance of overhauling Group A's top two Belgium and Croatia but ahead of the Macedonia game, the manager spoke about the importance of chasing third spot in the group and thus securing an improved seeding for the Euro 2016 qualifiers.

But if Wales lose to Serbia on Tuesday that’s another target which will be all but gone. You have to think the quest then will simply be to avoid finishing rock bottom of Group A. If they do then there is a good chance another home nation, Scotland could fill that void.

I hope that does not happen, but if it does, Coleman, just like any of his peers in the same position, would have to think long and hard about his future.

Babe of the Month - Autumnal Glory!

Crystal Palace Football Club Squad List - 2013/14

Goalkeepers:

#1.Julian Speroni - Age 34 - Date Signed: 12 Jul, 2004.
#25.Neil Alexander - Age 35 - Date Signed 15 Aug, 2013.
#34.Lewis Price - Age 29 - Date Signed: 29 Jul, 2010.

Defenders:

#2.Joel Ward - Age 23 - Date Signed: 30 May, 2012.
#3.Jack Hunt - Age 22 - Date Signed: 02 Sep, 2013.
#4.Jonathan Parr - Age 24 - Date Signed: 16 Jul, 2011.
#5.Patrick McCarthy - Age 30 - Date Signed: 12 Jun, 2008.
#19.Danny Gabbidon - Age 34 - Date Signed 16 Sep, 2012.
#21.Dean Moxey - Age 27 - Date Signed: 31 Jan, 2011.
#23.Florian Marange - Age 27 - Date Signed: 16 Aug, 2013. (Released by mutual consent)
#25.Darcy Blake - Age 24 - Date Signed: 24 Aug, 2012. (Not in final 25 man squad)
#26.Mathew Parsons - Age 21 - Date Signed: 01 Jul, 2010. (Not in final 25 man squad)
#27.Damien Delaney - Age 32 - Date Signed: 31 Aug, 2012.
#28.Peter Ramage - Age 29 - Date Signed: 8 Aug 2012. (Season long loan deal to Barnsley)
#28.Adrian Mariappa - Age 26 - Date Signed: 03 Sept, 2013.
#36.Alex Wynter - Age 19 - Date Signed: 01 Jan, 2010. (Not in final 25 man squad)

Midfielders:

#6.José Campaña - Age 20 - Date Signed: 13 Jul, 2013.
#7.Yannick Bolasie - Age 24 - Date Signed: 24 Aug, 2012.
#8.Kagisho Dikachoi - Age 28 - Date Signed: 04 Jul, 2011.
#10.Owen Garvan - Age 25 - Date Signed: 04 Aug, 2010. (Not in final 25 man squad)
#12.Stuart O'Keefe - Age 22 - Date Signed: 18 Aug, 2010.
#13.Jason Puncheon - Age 27 - Date Signed 21 Aug, 2013. (Signed on a 1 year loan deal from Southampton)
#14.Jerome Thomas - Age 30 - Date Signed: 01 Jul, 2013.
#15.Mile Jedinak - Age 29 - Date Signed: 11 Jul, 2011.
#20.Jonathan Williams - Age 19 - Date Signed: 01 Jul, 2011.
#22.Jimmy Kébé - Age 29 - Date Signed: 31 Aug, 3013.
#24.Elliott Grandin - Age 25 - Date Signed: 02 Aug, 2013.
#37.Hiram Boateng - Age 17 - Date Signed: 01 Jul, 2012. (Not in final 25 man squad)
#44.Adlène Guedioura - Age 27 - Date Signed: 04 Sep, 2013.
#18.Barry Bannan - Age 23 - Date Signed: 02 Sep, 2013).

Strikers:

#9. Kevin Phillips - Age 40 - Date Signed: 20 Jul, 2013.
#11.Stephen Dobbie - Age 30 - Date Signed: 01 Jul, 2013. (On loan to Blackpool until 31 Dec 2013)
#16.Dwight Gayle - Age 23 - Date Signed: 03 Jul, 2013.
#17.Glenn Murray - Age 29 - Date Signed: 31 May, 2011. (Not in final 25 man squad)
#18.Aaron Wilbraham - Age 33 - Date Signed: 04 Jul, 2012. (Not in final 25 man squad)
#29.Marouane Chamakah - Age 29 - Date Signed: 12 Aug, 2013 (Signed on a 1 year deal from Arsenal).
#30.Cameron Jerome - Age 27 - Date Signed: 03 Sep, 2013. (Signed on a season long loan from Stoke City).
#32.Kwesi Appiah - Age 23 - Date Signed 31 Jan, 2012. (On loan to Cambridge United)
#33.Ibra Sekajja - Age 20 - Date Signed: 01 Jul, 2010. (Not in final 25 man squad)
#35.Kyle De Silva - Age 19 - Date Signed: 01 Jan, 2012. (Not in final 25 man squad)


*This page will be updated accordingly in the event of any new signings.


Management Team:

Manager: Ian Holloway
Assistant Manager: Keith Millen
Strength and Conditioning Coach: Scott Guyett
Goalkeeping Coach: George Wood
Club Doctor: Bill Jasper
Head Physiotherapist: Alex Manos
Assistant Physiotherapist: John Stannard
Soft Tissue Therapist: Chris Harvey
Kit Manager: Brian Rogers

How To Woo Athletic Sporty Women!

Athletic sportswomen are generally hot, but they are often strong and fast, and some guys find this intimidating. Not you though......you're a real man! You like a woman that can open a jar of pickles using just one hand. But how do you win over a woman who possibly views you as weedy or emaciated, and who grew up with several older brothers that she beat up on a regular basis?

Here's the secret guys: It's less about your muscles and more about your character.

Here's a step-by-step guide to winning over that athletic beauty of your dreams!



Step 1: The first date: 


She's very competitive. Lose to her in table football and make it appear as if you lost on purpose, even though you really would have lost anyway.

Step 2: Compliment her beauty: 

Tell her she is "statuesque." Never say she is "big," or or "similar to the Hulk." Tell her she's "toned and sexy," like Jelena Abbou or Cori Nadine, and that she should star in her own exercise video series, which you will own of course and recommend to all your pals.


Step 3: Name the major muscles as you caress her rock-hard body:


Impress her with your anatomical knowledge: "And now I will squeeze the glutes, which are very toned and sexy, and make my way to the pectoral muscles, which are likewise toned and sexy."

Step 4: Massage her feet:


Active women love a good foot massage, and they have beautiful feet from wearing sneakers all the time. Squeeze the arches and pay special attention to her toes. Preen each toe like it's a celebutante. Tug it, separate it from the others and remove the sock lint, if necessary.


Step 5: Choose one of her legs: 


Cuddle into it, the way any lonely man cuddles a body pillow. Just get right in there. Gently lick a dollop of whipped cream off her field hockey bruise.



Step 7: If she has a ruptured ACL:


You need to take a sledgehammer to your own knee, just like how you need to wear a balloon under your shirt during pregnancy.


Step 6: Have a protein shake ready right after sex: 


Fill that glycogen window.
You could even have the blender going while you make the beast with two backs. Just get that post-coital wheat germ shake inside both of your bodies as soon as possible.



Step 8: Tell her that she must have been carved from the hugest diamond at Tiffany's: 


Or just compare her calves to diamonds, then sprinkle actual diamonds on top of them. Propose marriage. Remember, athletic women are not trophy wives......they win trophies!


#Good luck lads!

*You may also be interested to read an an article I wrote back in October 2010 entitled:

 "The Top 5 Signs that your Girlfriend is a Gold Digger!" 
or
an article I wrote in January 2010 entitled: 
The 'Beer, Footy and Birds' Bog Standard Guide to Snaring Celebrity Eye-Candy

Babe of the Month - Clerical Error!

You can follow Danielle Lo on Twitter and Instagram

Financial Nightmare - Some of the Biggest Loss-Making Football Transfers in the History of the EPL

With the 2013/14 season fast approaching and media coverage rife with transfer news, transfers speculation and good old-fashioned rumours, I thought I would take a look back at some of the biggest loss-making football transfers ever made by English Premier League (EPL) clubs.

I am not suggesting for a moment that the players named in this list when purchased by their respective clubs had not previously made an impact elsewhere. This is more about the failure of the players to live up to their previous on-field reputation and in turn their inability to justify their substantial price tag, following their big money move.
The end result is that they are subsequently sold on for a nominal fee, in comparison to the initial purchase price.


ANDRIY SHEVCHENKO  

Signed by: Chelsea from AC Milan for: £30.8 million

Year: 2003

Sold to: Dynamo Kiev on a free transfer

Year: 2009

Loss: £30.8 million

Currently: Retired from football


JUAN SEBASTIAN VERON 

Bought by: Manchester United for: £28.1 million from Lazio

Year: 2001

Sold to Chelsea for £15 million

Year: 2003

Loss: £13.1 million

Currently at: Estudiantes de La Plata in Argentina


SHAUN WRIGHT-PHILLIPS

Signed by: Chelsea for: £21 million from Manchester City

Year: 2005

Sold to: Manchester City for £8.5 million

Year: 2008

Loss: £12.5 million

Currently at: Queens Park Rangers


DIMITAR BERBATOV

Signed by: Manchester United for: £31 million from Tottenham

Year: 2008

Sold to Fulham for £5 million

Year: 2011

Loss: £26 million

Currently at: Fulham


ROQUE SANTA CRUZ 

Signed by: Manchester City for £17.5 million from Blackburn Rovers

Year: 2007

Sold to: Málaga_CF on a free transfer

Year: 2013

Loss: £17 million

Currently at: Málaga_CF


ROBINHO (Robson de Souza)

Signed by: Manchester City for £32.5 million from Real Madrid

Year: 2008

Sold to: AC Milan for £15 million

Year: 2010

Loss: £17.5 million

Currently at: AC Milan


OWEN HARGREAVES 

Signed by: Manchester United for £17 million from Bayern Munich

Year: 2007

Sold to: Manchester City on a free transfer

Year: 2011

Loss: £17 million

Currently: Unattached


JO (João Alves de Assis Silva)

Signed by: Manchester City for £18 million from CSKA Moscow

Year: 2008

Sold to: Sport Club Internacional (Brazil) on a free transfer

Year: 2011

Loss: £18 million

Currently at: Atlético Mineiro

MICHAEL OWEN

Signed by: Newcastle United for £16.8 million from Real Madrid

Year: 2005

Sold to: Manchester United on a free transfer

Year: 2009

Loss: £16.8 million

Currently: Retired from football


HERNAN CRESPO 

Signed by: Chelsea for £16.8 million from Inter Milan

Year: 2003

Sold to: Inter Milan on a free transfer

Year: 2008

Loss: £16.8 million

Currently: Retired from football


EMMANUEL ADEBAYOR

Signed by: Manchester City for £25 million from Arsenal

Year: 2009

Sold to: Tottenham for £5 million

Year: 2012

Loss: £20 million

Currently: Retired from football



ANDY CARROLL 

Signed by: Liverpool for £35 million from Newcastle United

Year: 2011

Sold to: West Ham for £15 million

Year: 2013

Loss: £20 million

Currently at: West Ham




There are plenty of other examples (not included in the above list) of huge loss-making transfers.

Do you remember these expensive transfer flops?

# Boško Balaban signed by Aston Villa from Dinamo Zagreb and sold to Club Brugge.
# Marco Boogers signed by West Ham from Sparta Rotterdam and sold to RKC Waalwijk (Holland).
# Steve Marlet signed by Fulham from Lyon and sold to VfL Wolfsburg.
# Chris Sutton signed by Chelsea from Blackburn Rovers and sold to Celtic.
# Massimo Taibi signed by Manchester United from Venezia and sold to Reggina.
# Winston Bogarde signed by Chelsea from Barcelona and retired after seeing out his four-year contract with Chelsea.
# Andrea Silenzi signed by Nottingham Forest from Torino and sold to Reggiana.
# Hugo Viana signed by Newcastle from Sporting Lisbon and sold to Valencia
# Jean-Alain Boumsong signed by Newcastle from Glasgow Rangers and sold to Juventus.
# Afonso Alves signed by Middlesbrough from Heerenveen (Holland) and sold to Al-Sadd (Qatar).
# Francis Jeffers signed by Arsenal from Everton and sold to Charlton Athletic.
# Adrian Mutu signed by Chelsea from Parma and sold to Juventus.
# David Bentley signed by Tottenham from Blackburn Rovers and although still a Tottenham player, he spends most of his time on loan at lower league clubs.
# Jose Antonio Reyes signed by Arsenal from Sevilla and sold to Atlético Madrid.
# Alberto Aquilani signed by Liverpool from Roma and sold to Fiorentina.