Thursday, January 24, 2013

An Alternative List of Football Club Fines

This week Arsène Wenger found himself commenting on the Gunners’ disciplinary policy after a document printed on Arsenal headed paper, detailing a list of rules for players and the cash penalties if they were broken appeared on the internet after a fan, reported to be a friend of club doctor Gary O’Driscoll, took a photo of the fines sheet during a tour of the training ground.

Arsène Wenger's strict disciplinary regime was exposed this week!

The supporter then posted it on a file-sharing website, believing it would be seen only by himself and his close friends, only for the document to go ‘viral’ across the net.
It then emerged as to why Arsenal manager why defender Per Mertesacker had become the club's debt collector.

The German international is responsible for rounding up fines from fellow players who fell foul of the club's internal disciplinary rules,with fines doubled if they are not settled in seven days. Wenger joked: "The Germans do well economically and we respect that. They are the only ones that make money in Europe. That's why we've chosen a German," the Frenchman added of the 85-times capped Mertesacker.

The fines included are £1,000 for players not turning up for matches they are not involved in, £500 for arriving late for travel or training, £250 for not turning up on time to a team meeting or meal and £100 for taking a newspaper, laptop or phone into the medical area or dressing room.
The Gunners boss even lays down the law over the clothing worn by his players, with £100 docked for items deemed inappropriate.

List of Arsenal FC 2012/13 Player Fines

Here is an alternative and light-hearted list of football club fines for players' whose behaviour may be considered not becoming of their club, amateur or professional:

50p fine:
  • Dirty boots (Cleaning your boots in the changing room on match day does not constitute having clean boots’ and you will therefore still receive the fine).
  • Not running the line.
  • Putting your kit on back to front.
  • Air kick.
  • Foul throw.
  • Putting the ball over the fence and not retrieving it.

£1 fine:
  • Not showering post-match.
  • Not doing the nets (Before and after home games).
  • Claiming goals that were really crosses.
  • Wearing shit casual clothes. 
  • Taking kit home (£1 per garment).
  • Arguing with team mates during game.
  • Hitting the woodwork (this ain't the cross-bar challenge!).

£2 fine:
  • Backchat to manager.
  • Penalty miss.
  • 'Chump of the Match' (Voted by the players individually in the changing rooms after the match. The person with most votes gets fined - they can be nominated for anything for e.g. a f*ck up during the match, an all-round piss poor individual performance etc).
  • Talking during gaffers pre-match / half-time team talk (even if he is speaking boll*x).
  • Participating in a training or match day bust up with a teammate.
  • Not staying for a post-match beer (Home or away).
  • Milking injuries.
  • Smoking during a game (£2 per fag).

£5 fine:
  • Own goal.
  • Excessive showboating (e.g Back healing the ball when you could just pass it normally).
  • Pleasuring a dog - Four legged variety.
  • Wearing make-up on match day.
  • Leaving a game before it has finished.
  • Pulling out of a match due to charity work. 

£10 fine:
  • Not wearing ladies underwear for a cup game.
  • Throwing up at an official club function.
  • Bringing along a 'minger' to a match (if in doubt the Club Committee will decide).
  • Arguing against fines.

£150 fine:
  • Any form of misbehaving with a players' missus!

All fines are listed as a guideline and the 'fines master' and committee have the right to change or add to them at any point without any notice.

All the money that gets collected will pay for the Christmas do and go towards trophies for the end of season do.

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