Saturday, January 26, 2008

Charlton Pathetic FC

With the upcoming fixture against 'The SE7 Clowns' I could not help but notice the enormous amount of discussion and debate that this particular game has created!
Some of the banter posted especially on the messageboard has been both highly entertaining and amusing.
This is by no means an attempt to deviate away from the importance of the fixture itself, in terms of the potential end of season prize that is at stake......for both clubs.
In fact it just emphasises the passion, feeling and anticipation that this game radiates.

One of the topics of discussion on the messageboard in the last week or so has included an attempt by Palace fans to create a new song to sing on matchdays.
The result was:

To the tune of head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.

Hill, Hudson, Hills & Halls, Hills & Halls,
Hill, Hudson, Hills & Halls, Hills & Halls,
I...fill, Watson, Clint & Soares,
Hill, Hudson, Hills & Halls, Hills & Halls.

Finally to end this short post I have selected my Top Ten song titles that I feel best encapsulates the club and fans of Charlton Pathetic.
If you have an apt song title to add to my list, please do post it on this site.

Top Ten:

1/ 'Valley Of The Ignorant' by Pig - 1997

2/ 'Gypsies, Tramps And Thieves' by Cher - 1971

3/ 'Aint Gonna Wash For A Week' by The Brook Brothers - 1961

4/ 'My Life As A Circus Clown' by Matthew Good Band - 2002

5/ 'Welcome To The Cheap Seats' by Wonder Stuff - 1992

6/ 'Camping Next To Water' by Badly Drawn Boy - 2000

7/ 'Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?' by Bloodhound Gang - 1997

8/ 'Sneaking Out The Back Door' by Matt Bianco - 1984

9/ 'Family Affair' by Mary J Blige - 2001

10/ 'Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window' by Bob Dylan - 1966

Sunday, January 13, 2008

The 'Beer Footy And Birds' Bog Standard Guide To Snaring Celebrity Eye-Candy.

The easiest way is to close your eyes and dream.
If you’re really into this, let’s consider the pros and cons. Picking up a celebrity girlfriend is not an easy mission. The more major they are, the harder it is for you to get them.

I am not discouraging you but celebrities are known to date their own high profile kind. However, here are a few things which could help you:

Do your research
Yes, get the tabloid and see their whereabouts. I am not suggesting that you be a stalker. The thing is you should know where they hang out, so you will know where to strut your stuff.
Going local is not a bad idea, for example The Albion in Islington or The Pineapple in Kentish Town are both used by celebrities.
It helps to get to know the staff too.

Dress smart casual but stylishly
Go for a relaxed cool look, using trendy, up-to-the-minute fashions.

Use her friends
Chat up her friends first. It gets them onside, and leaves her craving your attention.

Be yourself
Try to act normal! Do not let her think that you are about to faint.
Act self-assured and do not let yourself be affected by her so-called celebrity status.
Treat her as you would any girl. For her this would probably make for a refreshing change, and she’ll see you in another light - as a 'normal' bloke.

Circumvent name-dropping
Skirt around at all costs, she probably has more celeb friends than you could ever wish for.

Make honest compliments
Choose them carefully and sparingly but make them count!

Wait for her to go outside for a cigarette, then join her and seize the opportunity to flirt away while the distractions around her are minimalist.

Here are some other tips that may work if you cannot see a star within your vicinity:

A letter from a fan.

You can easily look up their fan mail address. However, asking them out through letters is not a feasible idea. So if I were you, forget this even if others advice you to do it!

Join a 'Date a Celebrity' contest.

Scour the country to look for a 'Date a Celeb' contest. Fortunately, you do not have to visit every town/city to do this.
Just check it out online to see if there is one near you. has a 'Seduce a Celeb' contest which you may want to give a try!

Money talks.

Sometimes you can see them on auction at eBay or other similar sites. This is an innovative method if you have the resources.
Most of the time, the money goes to charity. At least your madness goes to a good cause, the less fortunate. Keep an eye on the bidding process if you badly want it. However, your choice of stars is limited!

Well, some might think that making your wish come true to date a celebrity is a waste of time. But if you really want it, I say go for it!
Actually it’s not impossible. Stars can be within reach, but do not try so hard that you start to make a fool of yourself. Happy hunting!

Monday, January 07, 2008

I Svear It's Sven!!!

A grinning 'Sven' can be seen outside Walton Prison last Thursday night, handing over a team sheet with a new formation and some final instructions to Joey 'Loony Tune' Barton, before he makes his next appearance.
Six up front and a further six across the back, in a Liverpool courtroom on the 16th January!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008