Robert Andrew Woolmer 1948 - 2007

It is with heartfelt sorrow that such a charismatic, popular, and talented thespian in the shape of Bob Woolmer should die so suddenly at the age of only 58, but to have been 'murdered' is truly devastating news to his family, relatives, friends, fellow students of the game, cricket fans and in fact all sports fans in general.

I ask you, will International competitive sport ever be able to fully recover from this tragedy.

The truth about why he was murdered is still unclear, however there are numerous rumours flying around, as one might suspect under the circumstances.
We are all aware of the corruption/match fixing allegations coinciding with the imminent release of his book, as put forward by many a journalist this past week.
But if it does turn out that corruption has played a part in his death, then how can we the public ever trust the outcome of any sporting event in the future to have been truly genuine.
Most of us like a flutter, as it adds to the interest of the event in question, and as in all sports there are always going to be shock results and outcomes.
Cricket is in the spotlight this next week, but next week it could be football, horse racing, golf, tennis.....whatever.

In professional sport 'greed' is the root of all evil.
People, human beings like you & I will always be susceptible to the lure of making money, even if you already have plenty. It may seem improbable that you will be suspected let alone caught. Who will know if you are not giving your best, not trying your hardest, not bothered if you win, lose or draw - if you can cash in big time.

Nobody.....until one day it all goes wrong, as inevitably it will, and you and/or your family are caught up in something bigger & more dangerous than you can handle!
You may not even have been involved directly. You may have been an unsuspecting pawn in a real life crime.

Mr.Woolmer may not have been involved, but he may have been aware of certain instances where match fixing was apparent in the sub-continent.
Knowing too much about something may turn out to have been instrumental behind his 'murder.'
Information & knowledge are powerful tools and may have proved in this instance to have been as dangerous as taking part in the practice itself!




Sincere and heartfelt condolences go to his wife, Gill and sons Dale and Russell.

He will surely live in the hearts of his cricket fans in England, South Africa, Pakistan and all over the world.



Bob Woolmer
Career History:

1968: Debut for Kent.

1972: One-day international debut for England.

1976: Selected as one of Wisden's five cricketers of the year.

1977: The Centenary Test in Melbourne and England went on to take the Ashes 3-0.
Bob signed for Kerry Packer, and the establishment is not amused.

1984: He retired from first class cricket.

1991: Appointed Director of Coaching at Warwickshire County Club in England.

1994: Warwickshire won 3 out of 4 trophies and were runners up in the NatWest series.
He was appointed coach of South Africa

1994-1999: South Africa won 71% of its one-day internationals, and 10 out of 15 Test series under Woolmer.

2004: Appointed Pakistan's coach.

2007: The Pakistan team crashed out of the World Cup after being shocked by debutants Ireland. Found unconscious in his hotel room in the West Indies and later died in a hospital in Jamaica.



**Please do not make failures and successes on cricket fields a matter of life and death.

Kidney Failure.

The Cricket World Cup is underway in the Caribbean and after reading and hearing all the pre-tournament bumf, I feel confident I can divide the tournament into just three segments, the opening match involving the host nation, the Final itself and most importantly the return of the English team.
As the the TV crews and tabloid happy snappers swarm around the arrivals area of the airport as our prodigal sons return in identical fashion to our footy boys after every major tournament - they may have been defeated (probably in the quarter-finals but not on penalties) but they remain defiant and positive, and every expletive, cliche and excuse under the sun is used to exonerate the players, captain, vice-captain, coach, kit man, dietitian, fitness guru, masseur, therapists, bodyguards, coach driver and so on due to..... the pitches, below par training facilities, exhausting itinerary, extreme heat, dodgy umpiring decisions, injuries, over exuberant fans, insect bites, uncomfortable accommodation, poor sleep c/o late night steel bands across the hallway, poorly educated 'ladies of the night' who were unable to read each member of the touring party a bedtime story and of course sheer bad luck.......yawn!
There's always next time.

Now spare a thought for the World's Biggest Cricket Fan.
His tournament kicks off in under 48 hours time, when on Saturday March 17th India face Bangladesh in Trinidad in their opening Group B game. Mr. Tarun Sharma, 23 a die-hard Indian cricket fan has according to sources threatened to commit suicide by setting fire to himself. The reason for his rather extreme behaviour is that he is not allowed to sell a kidney to raise the stake money for the trip to the World Cup.
Selling body organs in India is illegal unless you are donating them to your relatives and you have the approval of the authorities.....which authorities is debatable. I can't see the Indian Cricket board objecting, but let's for now assume anyway it's some sort of Medical or Government Body.
Sharma said and I quote " I will kill myself if I'm denied a chance to watch the Indians play in the West Indies." He goes on to say, " Anybody can survive with one kidney but you will never get the opportunity to watch India win the Cup in the West Indies"

At odds of generally 7/1 the bookies obviously do not share Mr. Sharma's optimism of
India bring crowned Cricket World Champions.

However how can one begin to compare the value of a body organ with the odds of winning a sporting event.

Now then footy fans. There are plenty of you who regularly spout off about how you would die for your team or club's cause. May I suggest however that it is in fact Mr. Sharma who has actually used this term correctly, in describing what he is prepared to do in his attempt to watch his beloved cricketing nation, or is it simply that he is completely and utterly out of his mind.

Food for thought!

London BAR King - 'Black Gardenia'

I realise looking at my blog 'Beer Footy and Birds!' that it is fundamentally flawed. The emphasis is most definitely on footy and birds and less so on beer.
As a result I am going to try to rectify this by emBARking on bringing you a short but regular guide to where's hot and where's not in the drinking capital of the world.

To kick things off I would like to bring to your attention a newly opened bar in Soho called the 'Black Gardenia,' formally the Push Bar.
It's situated on 93 Dean Street, London W1 and is now very much a cool yet distinctive, almost moody, cavern style milieu. It offers a diverse miscellany of forties, fifties and sixties tunes, and is open until 1am.
No jeans are allowed, the garb is bordering on vintage, almost Retro and the more vintage your attire the more you will fit in.

A cracking bar. Well worth a visit whatever your vogue.

'Babe Of The Month' - Feed Your Passion!

Crystress Palace F.C

I am on the cusp of re-newing my C.P.F.C season ticket for 2007-08 when I read in the 'South London Press' that in doing so I am committing myself to another season of trauma, anxiety and nervous tension. Why you ask?
Well I will tell you exactly why!
It has been announced that my beloved Crystal Palace are 'officially' the 11th (eleventh) most stressful club to be a supporter of out of the 92 (ninety-two) in the Football League.
Do I need this? Is not life stressful enough? Why am I adding to my already hectic and taxing life........at some financial cost too I might add?
Stress does not come cheap!

Although I had no reason to doubt the accuracy of the report in question, believe me being a Palace fan is a serious rollercoaster of a ride I felt a curiosity, a desire, call it what you will, to investigate this in a little more depth.

Where or how did the statisticians come up with their findings?
Did they go out to Croydon Town Centre one rainy afternoon, hoodwink a group of pensioners in a Supermarket and fire off half a dozen questions at them, to which they responded by saying yes 11 was their lucky number, they lived at number 11, they had 11 grandchildren, shopping was their 11th least favourite chore, and they got on the number 11 bus to come to Croydon in the first place!
All this culminating into making Palace the eleventh most stressful Club to support!
I doubt it. Hardly very scientific, plainly inaccurate, and obviously a distinctly unlikely method of canvassing a straw pole, unless it is for political reasons of course.

Statisticians at Littlewoods Football Pools have compiled a 'Stress League' dossier by analysing the histories - both on and off the pitch, of each of the 92 football league clubs, in order to determine which teams have caused their fans the most stress and anxiety over the last 25 years.

The criteria under which the club-by-club analysis has been conducted was based on initial research amongst football supporters, who were asked to identify which factors caused them anxiety/nervousness when following their team's fortunes.

Among the key 'stress factors' named by fans were:

The 'yo-yo effect', i.e regular movement between divisions/leagues due to promotions and relegations.
Narrowly missing out on promotion and/or relegation.
Failing to win at home.
Losing matches from a winning position.
Losing in play-offs, particularly finals.
Being involved in penalty shoot-outs, and cup ties which go into extra-time
Financial problems at the club, leading to uncertainty over its future and a detrimental effect on team performances.
Changes in club ownership.
Frequent changes of manager.

Enter Crystal Palace Football Club.

Long-standing Palace fans won't like it, but historically Selhurst Park is one of the easiest grounds for visiting teams to get a result. Not winning at home is a sure-fire cause of stress for fans, but then so are relegation fights and play-off finals, and Palace have had their fair share of those in recent times.

In the last 25 years Palace have been promoted to the top flight on four occasions and relegated the same number of times. Two promotions to the Premiership, in 1997 and 2004, both came via the play-offs (after finishing sixth each time). They have also missed out on promotion through the play-offs twice, most recently last season when they lost in the Championship play-off semi-finals.
In 2001, Palace came unbelievably close to relegation to Division Two.

In the FA Cup, Palace have won only five matches in the past 11 seasons. However in 1990 they were only seven minutes away from Cup Final glory before Mark Hughes scored an equaliser to not only salvage his team a replay, but in doing so he also salvaged Alex Ferguson's career at Man.Utd. United went on to win the replay, Ferguson won his first trophy as United boss and as they say in football......the rest is history!
To put the icing on the cake, who can forget 1999 when the club fell into administration under chairman Mark Goldberg.

Doctors are overworked at the best of times, but those in South London must be at breaking point if their surgery's are full of 'Palace Patients' with their clenched buttock cheeks and dodgy tickers, as they wait in line for their all too regular blood pressure tests!

As par for the course I felt it only fair-minded and even-handed to share with my fellow long suffering Palace fans some of the other results of my research.
To begin with Liverpool came out smelling of roses, as the least stressful club to support in the Country, Notts County the most stressful club to support, and are 'bosom buddies,' Brighton, Charlton and Millwall the 34th, 42nd and 45th most stressful respectively.

All said and done I would NOT change my allegiance to my club for the world.
Through their ups and downs they will always make me feel 'Glad All Over.'

My season ticket for next year was bought and paid for shortly after I wrote this article!

'Babe Of The Month' - Vivacious Vicarious Virtuoso Valentine Vixen...................Va Va Voom!

Watch Your Back, Organ Be In For A Big Surprise!

Now it usually takes something quite controversial, irritating or witty for me to get home after yet another dire day at 'The Orifice' and sit down the moment I get through the door, fire up the PC and start writing.

Today is indeed one such day. As I rode home on the 'Cattle Chuffer' from Victoria I began scanning 'The London Paper' for newsworthy articles that didn't include the words Goody, Channel 4, Pete Doherty and Snow.

I was indeed drawn to page 7 and a fine pair of pins in a micro skirt. Below was a rather disturbing headline 'Judge Held For Flashing' and to the left of that a typically demure picture of Wayne Rooney with his gob open and looking pretty vacant......well nothing new there then. Believe me the excitement does not end there as it was suggested that 'The Everton Reject' was a massive fan of, and indeed knew all the words to the songs of the musical 'Oliver.'

So what I hear you holler as you lean towards the 'off button.' Is there indeed a point to all this? Are the three subjects in someway all related?
Well no, not to my knowledge anyway!

But wait.......In the top right hand corner was an inch square article that literally made me think.... you are bloody joking! It was both amusing and unbelievable at the same time. In fact I felt it was well worth sharing with other like minded individuals.

So the story goes that in Argentina a teenage football fan is suing a tattooist who drew a penis on his back instead of his favourite team's badge. Not an easy mistake to make surely, but as it happens the tattoo artist took 'umbrage' at being asked to draw the logo of the Boca Juniors on the teens back because he supported their fiercest rivals River Plate!!!!!!!!!!!!

My immediate forethought was if the tattoo artist is that malevolent, then imagine what he would do to you if he caught you messing with his missus!

'Premiers**t - You're Having a Laugh'

Don't talk to me about the 'magnificent' spectacle of the Premiership! The tremendous ding-dong battle to win the title etc etc.
The Premiership is great for mainly one thing - plenty of revenue in the form of TV money for all the clubs involved and not a lot else!

There's a two horse race at each end of the table, Man U versus Chelski and Watford versus Charlton, and then 16 other mediocre teams battling it out for mid-table respectability.....I think is the well overused media pundits terminology.

Look at the likes of Spurs, Pompey, Everton and Blackburn. All battling it out for what?
A UEFA Cup spot, which is basically an overrated cup tournament for Champions League rejects, teams finishing 5th or worse in the Premiership, along with the domestic cup winners that cold potentially could come from anywhere in the Football League.
I'm sure the opportunity to start the season in July, and the prospect of visiting the respective pastures new of the Champions of such historical football nations as Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Slovenia and Slovakia must be huge!
The lure of a few bob to line the the pockets of the already overpaid players, board and management alike is the only odour I can smell!
Two words springs to mind.......Dull and Greed!

It is self-defeating in it's very nature.
Remember the fans! They are the ones who have to pay for this potential 11 month season.
Jet-setting abroad, hotel accommodation where necessary, match tickets and beer all add up to a more than average priced midweek non-adventure, such as a meal with the opposition, namely her indoors or a trip to the local pub with the lads, equally unpopular with the Missus. (But she knows where you are, and in her eyes at least that beats blowing the family budget on gallivanting around The Balkans).
Not to mention the time taken off from work, whether as holiday or sick.
Do the Clubs care? Is the Pope a Jew?

Dare I say it, but maybe the likes of Pompey and Reading could even step up to the UEFA Cup mark this year.....which would in itself be an incredible and more than likely one-off achievement for both Coppell's and Redknapp's sides this season. But not something their fans will have experienced previously or are likely too again for sometime after.
Pity all the magnificent fans of all the above mentioned clubs, and shame on the clubs themselves for providing such mediocre 'entertainment' for most of the season whatever the final outcome, at extortionate entry prices!

Now drop down a division to the Championship and you can watch a terrific example of weekly unpredictability all season, due to a much more level playing field. High octane passion fuelled local derbies, particularly in The Midlands this season and the possibility of about 4 or 5 teams fighting it out for automatic promotion and a further 6 or more in with a chance of making the play-offs. At the wrong end their are probably still any of 6 or 7 sides that might drop down a division. All this will undoubtedly still be unfolding come mid-April.
That's what I would endeavour to call entertainment, fierce competition, and value for money.... all season round.

A couple of months ago Brucie was a goner, now he's Singing the Blues.
Cardiff under Dave Jones got off to a magnificent start, now they are rocking badly, Preston are up there again despite a change in stewardship, and Southampton look really dangerous.
WBA, Wolves and Palace were all expected to make the top 6 if not automatic promotion pre-season, but all are finding the going tough!
There may be no Gerrard, Lampard, Rooney, Ronaldo, or Henry in the Championship but there are some quality players on view including the likes of Upson and McShefferey at Birmingham, Nugent at Preston, Vine at Luton, Rasiak and Bale at Southampton, Halford at Colchester and Eastwood at Southend to name but a few, along with some excellent coaches and managers doing the rounds.
Look at Burley at Southampton, Mowbray at WBA, Laws at Wednesday, Davies at Derby, Pullis at Stoke and of course Williams at Colchester.

A Championship XI to match much of the Premiership mediocrity:
Hoult/Upson/Halford/Alexander/Bale/McShefferey/Cook/Skachel/Vine/Nugent/Eastwood, and there are many more good enough to make up a squad.

All good news for fans' of Championship Clubs.

'Cards on the Table' - The Champs and The Chumps come the end of the 2006/07 season. My Predictions and the Odds!

Dangerous times to make predictions as the transfer window opens, but sometimes financially it can work to your advantage.
Any team currently doing reasonably well could with a few shrewd signings increase they're chances of glory, BUT their odds decrease. Likewise if you fancy a team to fail then back them before they offload any of their stars to get the BEST price. The 3rd Round of the FA Cup begins this weekend, and there are some cracking ties including these possible upsets as Norwich have to go to Tamworth, Brighton to West Ham, Oldham visit Wolves, Charlton go to Forest, whilst Birmingham host Newcastle.
Get in their early my son might not be an unreasonable way to word it!

This Weekend:- Lay Norwich 8/15, Lay West Ham 4/9 , Lay Wolves 10/11 , Back Forest 7/4, Back Birmingham 15/8.


My Season Predictions with odds courtesy of Betfair as at 5th Jan 2007:-


Premiership Champions - Chelsea 5/7.

Top 4 Finish - Man U 1/100, Liverpool 1/3, Arsenal 1/5.

Top 6 Finish - Portsmouth 11/4, Bolton 4/7.

Premiership Relegation - Watford 1/14, West Ham 7/4, Wigan 4/1.

Championship Winners - Southampton 9/1.

Promotion - Derby 11/4 and Birmingham 4/9.

Champions League Winners/Finalists - Lyon 9/1 Outright Winners, Lyon 7/2 Finalists.

UEFA Cup Winners - Werder Bremen 6/1.

FA Cup Winners - Tottenham 16/1, Outside Sniff Pompey 37/1.


Happy Punting!

'Babe of the Month' - New Year Bunny!