'Footy's Top Ten' Hardest Men - Part One!

In these days of namby-pamby, overpaid professionals it's sometimes good to take a look back at when men were men on the football pitch!
Those were the days when every team had its hard man.

It is fair to say that the modern game has taken away the stereotypical hard men, largely down to the camera scrutiny the players now experience on a pitch. You no longer witness, the subtle kicks, pinches or whacks that was part and parcel of the game then. These were the make-up of the real hard men who went about their business quietly and effectively.

My recollections are conjured up using a combination of books & news articles I have read over the years, archived television footage, as well of course as witnessing some of the players in question at first hand, with my very own eyes as a paying spectator.


My first introduction to a genuine tough man was Billy Whitehurst (Sheffield Utd, Hull City, Newcatle & Oxford Utd), a strong man with both a big physique and a reputation to match. I remember in one match Billy kicking out the front teeth of the then Coventry City skipper, Brian Kilcline, a big tough opponent in his own right.

Nobody would deny that he was seriously hard. He once apparently offered out the entire Crystal Palace side in the players' lounge at Hull. When he was at Oxford, he was rumoured to be supplementing his weekly pay, and winding down by means of bare-knuckle fighting with the local gypsies. Neil Ruddock said that, when Billy whispered sweet promises in his ear mid-match, 'I used to start shaking.'

Vinnie Jones, a colleague at Sheffield United, recalls in his autobiography how Billy (right) nipped an escalating rumble with a phalanx of Sheffield Wednesday fans in the bud by knocking out stone cold the opposition ringleader with 'one of the best right-handers I have ever seen - inside or outside a ring'. During that spell at Sheffield United, he was sent out to roam the green with the explicit instructions from his manager, Dave Bassett: 'Go and cause some bollocks, Billy.' He so rarely disappointed.

Italian's have always had a reputation for being 'hot-headed' & 'synical' & in Claudio Gentile (Juventus, Fiorentina & Piacenza) you had the ultimate symbol of Italian cynicism. There was nothing remotely 'gentile' about Claudio!
He was one of the Italian defenders to make up an infamous 'defensive trio' alongside Bergomi & Tardelli in Spain in 1982, where together they led Italy to World Cup glory.

Gentile came to international acclaim in the 2nd phase match against the title-holders Argentina, when he man-marked Diego Maradona out of the game by kicking & flooring him constantly throughout the game. In response to his performance against Maradona, Gentile famously quipped, 'Football is not for ballerinas!'

One of Gentile's most favored tactics was to stand behind the striker who had the ball while kicking between his opponent's legs to play the ball, leaving the opposing player's legs beaten and bruised - a tactic adopted by top-flight defenders ever since. Gentile was also a master of the hard tackle to get the ball, not the player, and was rewarded for his skill by a career that lacked even a single sending-off.

In Dave Mackay you had the hardest footballer in an era when the game really could be termed a man's game. Mackay came back from a twice-broken left leg to dominate in midfield for Tottenham during the 60's before a late and glorious swansong at Derby.

Mackay could show anger, but never, pain. Not because, he thought it showed weakness to the opposition, but because the part of his brain that registered pain or fear had apparently stopped working. After he suffered a grotesque leg-break at Old Trafford in 1963, which would keep him out for almost two years, he barely grimaced, and as he was stretchered off he sat up leaning on his elbow, looking almost bored. Truly, types come no stronger, or silent.

Mackay was definitely one of the good guys: a genuinely outstanding left-half and a truly honorable man, who used his clout to put the hurt on opponents but never ever to seriously injure them.
Nonetheless he was intimidating enough to send the opposition, psychologically, for an early bath.

Engaging with him aggressively was not to be advised.
Billy Bremner discovered this when he kicked Mackay's bad leg. The picture of Mackay, teeth gritted so hard that it seems like they're about to splinter everywhere, grabbing a terrified Bremner by the shirt is one of football's most iconic hard-man photos (right).

Dave Mackay was the indestructible hero.

Where to start with Duncan Ferguson,(Dundee Utd, Rangers, Everton - twice & Newcastle). His career was often punctuated by controversy both on and off the pitch, and by injury. The ex-con has been branded everything from hard man to hooligan, but to Everton fans, he was a hero.

'Big Dunc' was brandished the yellow card a total of 37 times in his 269 Premier League games & shares the dubious record for the most Premier League red cards, collecting a whopping eight along with Patrick Vieira. He was once sent off for punching Paul Scharner in the stomach and a subsequent fracas with Pascal Chimbonda resulted in a total match ban of seven games.

He was capped for Scotland seven times, but made himself unavailable for selection by his national team due to a dispute with the Scottish Football Association.
He has scored the most goals of any Scottish player in the FA Premier League.

Ferguson also frequently found himself in trouble with the law, leading to four convictions for assault, two arising from taxi–rank scuffles. However, his most memorable on–field confrontation was with Raith Rovers defender John McStay in 1994 while playing for Rangers. Ferguson headbutted his opponent and this led to a three-month spell in prison.

The Physio Room - Injury Update

Click on the 'Link' below to see which Premier League footballers are currently feeling a tad under the weather, & instead of playing this weekend they will be at home emptying their well hidden penny coin jars & bagging it all up in readiness to take to the bank on Monday morning, before training.

Also on their 'to do' list will be other such gems as de-scaling the kettle, iron & shower head, gathering together all last year's unopened Xmas gifts to sell at Sunday morning's local car boot sale, before peeling the sprouts in preparation for the Sunday roast, which will be served after they get back from the car boot sale!

On Saturday night instead of staying in with the Missus & watching 'Strictly Come Dancing' they can be found interviewing bouncers down at their uncle's drag strip club, which they so kindly bought for him & put in his name as a 'thank you' for all his years of toiling down the mines.

We name and shame them...........!

Link

Bars: They ply you with liquor, they take your money & then they kick you out!

Excessive consumption of alcohol will ultimately get you drunk.........a pretty simplistic, visionary assessment made by my goodself, I am sure you will all agree.

As the Government bring up the habitual 'binge drinking' monthly debate, an alcohol concern organization are probably at the same time raising concerns regarding the price of booze in supermarkets, whilst a Doctor somewhere releases his latest dissertation on 'drinking in moderation' & a local council witters on that 'happy hours' in certain establishments are irresponsible.

I cannot possibly be the only person who feels bar owners & their employees, whether they be managerial sorts, bar staff or doorman alike have a responsibility themselves to look after their clientele & it's about time they acknowledged that fact sooner rather than later. They should stop believing they are above & beyond the law when it comes to the consumption of alcohol by any individual in a..........well 'licenced' drinking establishment actually!


How is it then that as long as you can reach into your pocket, grasp hold of some legal tender & order a drink in a semi-coherent manner you are then allowed to continue to do so over & over again - until you reach the point where you have your collar felt as you find yourself being escorted out of the licensed premises by some meat-head, wearing a black suit, a crisp white shirt and depending on the repute of the establishment, possibly even a dickie bow too.


Now I am not going to try & justify the drinking of alcohol to excess to anyone, either from a medical or a moral perspective, but what intrigues me is how one is so easily permitted to consume enough alcohol to sink a battleship in the first place!

Once I have had several jars of my favourite tipple I no longer care what damage I am doing to my liver & I have no desire whatsoever to stop drinking because I have gone past the so-called point of no return.
The worse for wear I maybe, but that does not stop the bartender from continuing to re-fill my glass.
The management have absolutely no intention of stopping me from drinking even more, provided I keep emptying my own & lining their pockets with hard cash.

And here come the pièce de résistance........inevitably one will come a cropper at some stage of proceedings, whether it's spilling yours or someone else's drink, accidentally bumping into a fellow patron, using inappropriate language or simply hitting the canvas like a pummelled boxer.

Once down the nearest exit beckons as a suited testosterone fuelled doorman plus radio & biceps the size of the average thigh dispatches you unceremoniously into the gutter, possibly minus a shoe & definitely with ones dignity in tatters!

Recently I was enjoying drinks in a local bar with some pals after spending the afternoon at a South London football stadium when one of us was 'thrown out' quite literally, for being 'intoxicated' ( but without any prior warning, not even a quiet word in the ear).

Bars should spend a bit more time man-managing, not man-handling its punters in an effort to prevent people getting ridiculously drunk in the first place!

Also they should take responsibility when their venue has stood back & watched their own punters get into a drunken stupor in the first place.

There is also an element of risk or even danger about leaving someone intoxicated & alone outside a drinking venue.

They may in addition to the typical behavioural anomalies associated with being drunk, such as being unstable on their feet be in a potentially vulnerable situation.

If for example they are left out in the dark of the night, are unfamiliar with the area, are inappropriately dressed for the weather or have a medical condition unbeknown to others - any of these predicaments could potentially lead to serious consequences. And what about if they are female clientele?

It’s about time watering holes had a long hard think about ways of controlling the amount of alcohol they allow to be consumed by drinkers, kept their eyes out for customers heading down the slippery slope before they finally fall off their bike & consider what could happen should they feel it necessary to remove someone from their premises & the implications that it might cause!


Prevention & detection are better than correction!

Babe Of The Month - Beer, Footy & Birds......the personification of life!

Model Sarah Brandner, the girlfriend of Bayern Munich and German International footballer Bastian Schweinsteiger.

Bend It Like Bentley!

Although we are only in October, the 'Goal of the Season' competition was effectively 'WON' last night by Tottenham midfielder David Bentley.

His glorious 35 yard long range dipping volley in the stunning 4-4 draw with Arsenal was arguably one of the 'greatest goals of its type' ever witnessed in the modern day era!

I know there are still about 6 months of the season remaining, but it is hard to imagine witnessing an equally good or an even better individual goal again this season........but we shall have to wait and see!

I can only think of two possible goals in recent times that might be considered on a par with Bentley's.
Firstly Matt Taylor's long range strike for Pompey v. Everton in 2006.Link

......and secondly Thierry Henry's volley against Man.Utd in 2000.Link


If you haven't already seen David Bentley's goal then watch it here now and all the goals in a quite extraordinary eight goal thriller!
Link


Mr.Bentley.......take a bow!

Cock-Sure !

The meaning of the adjective 'cocksure' - marked by excessive confidence; 'an arrogant and cocksure materialist'; 'so overconfident and impudent as to speak to the queen'; 'the less he knows the more positive he gets.'

It is rather ironic that this is one of those terms the origin of which we are far from cock-sure about. One point of certainty - it is old. Robert Whittinton, mentions it as early as 1520 in his grammatical tract Vulgaria:

'I haue knowen a man or nowe that thought him selfe cocke sure of his intent.'

Tottering Cockerels reel your necks in........I know it's not clever or original to bring up the current plight of 'The Spuds,' but what gives me the hump is all those fans of North London's 2nd Club, be it on radio phone-ins, on messageboards, on blogs, pub gossip & so on, but they think they are untouchable, 'to good to go down' not unlike teams of the ilk of Leeds & Forest in years gone by.
Your hear the rumblings of discontent for sure, but none of them seem to believe it could happen. Why ever not?

Here are some of the most stone cold simplistic observations as to why 'Spuds' fans' should indeed worry & why IT IS possible for the 'Spuds' to go down:

Results so far: P8, W0, D2, L6. These include defeats to Boro’, Sunderland, Hull & Stoke (no disrespect to the afore mentioned Clubs) but not quite the Premier Leagues’ heavyweights.

Lack of Premier League points: 2 from 24 (a points win ratio of just over 8%) & only 5 goals scored.
36 points were required last season to stay up, (Spurs finished in 11th position last season with 46 points). So in theory Spurs need another 34 from 30 games. However this season it looks like it will be a closer battle to stay up with more points required than last year to secure safety.
IF we say 38 points to be on the safe side then Spurs need another 36 points from 30 games which means a win ratio for a struggling side of 40% - 12 wins from their 30 remaining games.

The Manager: Juande Ramos – good overseas managerial record BUT NO previous experience in Premier League management. A jolly foreigner with arguably no interest in the spoken language & as a result only a token grasp of the native language of this country. Doubts about his tactical nous at this level are also doing the rounds.

Current Players speaking out publicly (rightly or wrongly) stating some home truths, namely David Bentley the expensive recent acquisition from Blackburn (& currently a shadow of his former playing self) called his own team sh*t & the experienced Jonathan Woodgate saying his Spurs team-mates 'need a good kick up the a*se.......and the way we are playing we deserve to be at the bottom.'

The Defence: 'Coco the Clown' alias Heurelho Gomez between the sticks & one clean sheet from their opening 8 matches says it all. A total lack of confidence is apparent in defence. May as well hire a behavioural therapist as a defensive coach.

Discipline: – or should that read indiscipline - 3 red cards in the last two matches......not down to bad refereeing, just insubordination: Premier League Statistics – 2 sent-off & 15 bookings in 8 games, 3 sent-off & 30 bookings in ALL competitions! Hardly subservient behaviour

Forthcoming Fixtures: – In the league Bolton, Arsenal & Liverpool next - a very tricky 4th round Carling Cup tie on the 12th November also against Liverpool & in danger of going out of the UEFA Cup at the group stage, with awkward ties still to play against Russian & Croatian opposition.

The Boardroom: The sacking of manager Martin Jol a year ago was the first of many big mistakes, a knee-jerk reaction to a generally disruptive working environment involving player unrest, an incoherent transfer policy, poor decision making at all levels & questionable on-field tactics.
Now Jol is at the helm of Hamburg & they currently sit proudly at the top of the German Bundesliga.
Damien Comolli, Tottenham’s Director of Football, deals with the transfer policy at Spurs & must be held accountable to a strategy which involved selling two seasoned and respected international strikers so near to the end of the transfer deadline, without first ensuring that appropriate signings had been made to fill the void. This was totally irrational & preposterous behaviour.

A member of the Tottenham Supporters' Trust recently cast his view across of the Clubs' current predicament when he said of the goings on. 'The people who run the club are obsessed by making money and they seem to think that volume, in terms of player transfer activity, adds up to quality. It isn't. Football has become obsessed with money and Tottenham are an arch example of that'

Players In/Out: Strikers – proven Premier League goalscorers Robbie Keane & Dimitar Berbatov sold (albeit for big bucks) to Liverpool & Man U respectively, only to be replaced by two inexperienced Premier League strikers in the shape of Roman Pavlyuchenko & youngster Fraizer Campbell.
To emphasise the point, top scorer this season is Darren Bent with 3 goals in the league.
For the next highest scorer see the column marked 'own goals.'


I for one firmly believe firing Ramos would be the worst possible solution.

Tottering Cock-Spur the trap door looms large!

Ramos to be next Premier League boss to leave/be sacked: Betting suspended.
Spurs to be relegated: 7/2.

Odds supplied courtesy of Coral bookmakers as at 16:45 on 24/10/08.

Spitting Image

Man-ure & Ing-er-land Footy Star
...........and The Pub Landlord of ' The No Obvious Syrup Inn '

Lohan Behold Me !

LINDSAY MORGAN LOHAN was born in Long Island, New York, on July 2, 1986. Born of Italian/Irish parents and a straight 'A' student, she builds her life around work & her family.

Lohan is an actress, singer & tabloid celebrity. She has starred in critically acclaimed movies, such as 'Mean Girls', 'The Parent Trap' and 'Freaky Friday,' & in 2004 she released an album, 'Speak.'














Lohan may be young, but in the Entertainment Industry, she's already a bankable commodity. At 5 feet 5 inches tall, this green-eyed actress has a reputation for possessing 'spirited talent.'






Lohan being the 'hot chick' that she is, has dated enough men to fill several football teams, & has crashed more cars than you will ever get to own in your entire life. In the latest twist to Lohan's love life, she has given up men for DJ Samantha Ronson.











Assets: A girlish charm that's hard to resist, large pert breasts.

Vices: Sex, drugs, alcohol, shopping and car crashes.

Twenty20 only 50/50 !

An aberrant look into the world of cricket!

ENGLAND's lucrative Stanford Super Series Twenty20 clash is in doubt after the West Indies Cricket Board were left red-faced yesterday, following a High Court arbitration hearing in London found in favour of team sponsors Digicel, the telecommunications company, and against the WICB.

The root of the dispute has been the claim by Digicel, that they have the branding rights for 'the game' between the Stanford Super Stars XI and England, under the terms of their sponsorship contract with the WICB (which they extended until 2012 in July).

However Digicel claim they were frozen out when Texan billionaire Sir Allen Stanford set up his big-money series, which included a multi-million dollar challenge match for each of the next five years.

Digicel's stance has caused issue with the match organisers, Stanford 20/20, who would rather find their own sponsors for the match.

As a result of yesterday’s ruling The WICB will now have to withdraw its sanction for the lucrative match in Antigua on the 1st November, and Stanford and the WICB are now expected to be locked in talks with Digicel in a bid to reach a compromise.

This could mean the game going ahead without any centrally contracted West Indies players, such as Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Chris Gayle and Ramnaresh Sarwan, thus making a mockery of the event or it being called off altogether.

The match, inspired by cricket fan Stanford, will conclude a 'Super Series' of games throughout the week involving English Twenty20 champions Middlesex and Trinidad & Tobago.

The winning team will take home $20 million dollars in prize money, making each player a dollar millionaire overnight!

Stanford believes the dispute is an 'unwanted distraction' & the game would still go ahead, however WICB officials have yet to comment on the outcome of yesterday's High Court hearing.

Yesterday’s ruling was also a blow to the England and Wales Cricket Board, who are hoping the Stanford Series goes ahead as they hope the prize money will prevent its players from being tempted by the lucrative Indian Premier League

Babe Of The Month - A Bird In The Hand......