Football Club Nicknames

With the new footy season only three weeks away and pre-season friendlies and club tours well and truly upon us, I thought it might be time to write a short piece on a source of information that every football supporter can relate to........club nicknames.

The tradition of football clubs having a nickname often extends back to when the club was first created.

In Britain, football club nicknames basically fall into five broad categories:-

1/ Colours - not very imaginative for obvious reasons, e.g The Blues, The Reds, The Sky Blues.

2/ Animals - only slightly more creative, e.g The Rams, The Tigers, The Foxes, The Lions, The Terriers.

Birds are a particularly popular choice, e.g The Eagles, The Seagulls, The Robins, The Magpies, The Owls, The Canaries.

3/ The Town's Traditional Industry - e.g The Hatters, The Irons, The Railwaymen, The Silkmen, The Saddlers, The Chairboys, The Glovers, The Tractor Boys, The Cobblers, The Blades.

4/ Local Landmarks - e.g The Minstermen, The Imps, The Spireites.

5/ The Obscure - Often endlessly debated and ultimately incomprehensible, e.g The Baggies, The Monkeyhangers, The Shakers, The Pilgrims and Posh.

A glance through the League's nicknames is still a pretty reliable guide to 19th-century industrial England, when you could safely assume that shoes came from Northampton, chairs from Wycombe and saddles from Walsall.

From the 1960's some clubs began to discard nicknames that they felt didn't convey the right kind of image.
Such clubs included Chelsea (formerly The Chelsea Pensioners, now The Blues), Crystal Palace (formerly The Glaziers, now The Eagles) and Reading (formerly The Biscuitmen, now The Royals).

Bristol Rovers are officially known as The Pirates, but more commonly as The Gas, after the gasworks next to their former ground at Eastville.

Fans of Everton and Manchester City are these days reluctant users of their given names, The Toffees and The Citizens respectively.

Swansea City, officially The Swans, have also adopted the town's nickname of The Jacks, allegedly after the 1930's lifesaving exploits in Swansea docks of a black retriever called, unsurprisingly Jack.

Charlton have without doubt the least conclusive or decisive club nickname in the league, flirting between The Robins, The Valiants and The Addicks.
The Addicks is a corruption of the word 'haddocks' and named after a local fish and chip shop, and also apparently because a local fish man would shout 'haddocks'..........all very odd!

In 1997 after leaving their Roker Park ground, Sunderland formerly The Rokerites decided to be known as The Black Cats.

More recently a few clubs have adopted more snazzy go-getting names, such as QPR's 'Superhoops', Wimbledon's 'Crazy Gang' and Scottish club Livingston's 'Livi Lions.'
Thankfully football has been largely immune to the American-inspired rebranding efforts that have affected some sports, including rugby league and to a certain degree limited overs cricket.

Scotland has it's own tradition of colourful nicknames, most of which are attached to the more unassuming clubs e.g Forfar (The Loons), Montrose (The Gable Endies), and Arbroath (The Red Lichties).

The general rule of thumb is that the bigger the club the less likely it is to have an intriguing or unusual nickname.
Notable exceptions outside of Britain might be Real Madrid (The Meringues) and Juventus (The Old Lady).

London BAR King - 'Dirty Martini'

Last time I sat down to write a piece on drinking in London it was 'Flaming April.' Perhaps that was the kiss of death as the venue I suggested was al fresco on a moored boat.
Now nearly three months on, after enough rain to have sunk the vessel in question, and in typical pessimistic fashion I have decided to write off this so called 'Summer' (all due of course to global warming and my larger than life carbon footprint!!!!!!!!!!)
A more apposite experience all things considered might be to therefore venture below 'sea' level in order to find liquid sustenance.

May I suggest then getting down to 'Dirty Martini' in Covent Garden, as I did last Thursday.
This idyllic intimate milieu is ideal if you want to avoid being seen (maybe its our caveman instincts), but sometimes you want to go out and circumvent the goldfish bowl experience aka that of a large, uncomfortably busy, ear-splitting, boisterous bar or pub.

'Dirty Martini' is in Russell Street, and although it is right in the centre of the tourist zone and literally only yards from the market itself, it is unexpectedly chic.
The lighting is cool. Being an underground retreat it is dim and moody with the odd splash of blue uplighting here and there.
The booths are lined with burgundy leather sofas and low stools and there are areas of bare brickwork in amongst mirror clad columns.
All this gives it a dark almost eerie effect, but at the same time it also helps generate a tranquil, serene, almost calming atmosphere.

Not surprisingly at 'Dirty Martini' the tipple of choice is the 'martini' itself, and boy oh boy do they know how to mix one.
Having been a cocktail bartender in a former life, a martini has minimal ingredients but is a 'bastard' to make..... WELL!

They have a 'happy four hours' from 5pm to 9pm and a first-rate martini in The West End for £3.95 is plenty good reason to get down and dirty!

C.P.F.C Pre-Season 2007 - Fixtures, Results and Scorers.

Friday 13th July Chelmsford 0 Palace 2 Freedman(2) - Away
Saturday 14th July Bromley 2 Palace 2 Own goal, Green - Away
Tuesday 17th July v Aldershot 0 Palace 2 Watson (pen), Kuki - Away
Friday 20th July Dartford 0 Palace 3 Fletcher, Green, Ifill - Away
Saturday 21st July Barnet 2 Palace 3 Own goal, Watson, Ifill - Away
Tues 24th July IFK Gothenburg 1 Palace 2 Ifill, Scowcroft - Away
Fri 27th July Oddevald 1 Palace 4 Dayton,Martin,Morrison,Watson - Away
Tuesday 31st July Palace 1 Watson (pen) Anderlecht 1 - Home
Saturday 4th August Palace 0 Everton 0 - Home

*All kick-off times are subject to change.

'Babes Of The Month' - Double Trouble

'Whipped Cream'

The 21st June 2007 had the outward appearance of something resembling 'Black Thursday.'

The day in question resembled a cross between The Madhatter's Tea Party and an Ann Summers shindig, somewhere en route between 'The High Court' in London & 'Royal Ascot' in Berkshire.

Was their a full moon on Wednesday night?

It was certainly an atrocious day for Iain 'Coco the Clown' Dowie at The High Court, and in part for the bookmaker Paddy Power at Royal Ascot on Gold Cup and Ladies Day.

As it is Dowie is now facing the biggest blow to his morale, as well as to the lining of his pockets, since he last looked at his own reflection in the mirror!

He was 'taken to the cleaners' by Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan.
Jordan has shown in the past that he cannot stand managers/players that do NOT honour their contracts, and quite rightly so!
(In 2001 he put Steve Bruce on 'gardening leave' at the Palace after refusing to allow him to leave his contractual managerial post with Palace, after being linked to a role with another football club). I must take this opportunity to thank Brucie for all the weeding he did that year. The pitch has never looked in such tip-top condition since!

Dowie should have gone to see a therapist NOT a solicitor before deciding to take on Jordan in court, particularly as it has subsequently been proven that he was indeed knowingly lying, and made 'fraudulent misrepresentations' on leaving the club in May last year.
Dowie had foolishly hoped that somehow he would NOT get caught, a bit like a naughty little school-kid!
Dowie in fact may as well have turned up at court in a school blazer, knee length trousers with a plimsoll bag over his shoulder, lent over some court apparatus and allowed himself be thrashed with a whip, for he was always onto a good hiding, from the first moment he decided to take on his ex-boss, a serial High Court winner!

Now having lost, he has to foot the entire bill. He has to pay HIS own costs, Jordan's and Palace's costs.....along with any compensation awarded to Palace.
Mr. Justice Tugendhat ordered Dowie to pay £150,000 within the next six weeks, but warned Dowie that Palace's bill could total £400,000 in legal costs alone.

There will be another hearing towards the end of the year to decide how much in 'damages and other financial relief' Dowie must pay Palace. Ouch!!!

Jordan said on Friday he had no sympathy for Dowie and went on to say: 'This is a resounding, overwhelming judgement of Dowie's deceit and guilt.'

No Xmas card from Dowie then this Yuletide. He'll probably be so skint by then that he'll have to send home-made cards to his remaining friends and relatives!


Interestingly but of less financial clout, bookies Paddy Power were hit by a flurry of bets on Thursday on what colour hat the Queen would be wearing on Gold Cup Day at Royal Ascot.
Suggestions in previous years that inside information might have been used went down like a lead balloon at the Palace.
So without wishing to stir up any more bad feeling nobody was pointing any fingers on Thursday, despite a rush of money that saw the winning 'beige/cream' colour cut from odds of a rather tasty 6/1 to a miserly 1/25.

Claiming to have lost around £15,000, bookie Paddy Power said, 'We got creamed.'

Ex-Palace Player Lifts Trophy!

Former Eagles midfield player Sasa Curcic last week won the Serbian version of Celebrity Big Brother.

The controversial Serb who played for Palace between 1998 and 1999 won 50,000 Euros for being crowned winner after spending 30 days in the Serbian Celebrity Big Brother House.

Curcic retired from football in 2000 at the age of 27, following spells at Palace, Bolton, Villa, Motherwell and the New York Metro Stars.
He enjoyed partial cult status in Britain, but more for his actions and annotations off the field than on it!

Following Curcic's retirement from the game in 2000, he conducted an interview with a Yugoslav sports magazine in which he said: "I have given up football because of sex. I would rather score in bed than on the pitch."

'Kissing with Confidence'........Is kissing in public unsexy?

The right to reply:

In response to the very laboured, drearily written article:-
'Quiet Dignity Is Best......kissing in public isn't sexy' by Zoe Strimpel, in Monday's copy of 'The London Paper,' I felt I had to respond vehemently on behalf of all 'Alpha Males' out there with a pulse!
I have not gone soft..........honest!
I just felt a strong desire, call it a fervour if you like, to counter this argument.

Let me enlighten you Ms Strimpel. Individuality and spontaneity (along with clean underwear and fresh breath) go some way in the complex world of wooing a potential female partner, or at least keeping the life in your current squeeze!

Women are always crowing on about how boring and/or unadventurous us lads are when it comes to showing women not so much a good time (a tank full of Stella Artois = a good time), but in terms of the bog standard typical brassy female thought process, there are many a phrase banded around by the opposite sex, that are often alien to some men!
The inventory sits something like a supermarket shopping list.......... they include such idioms as: attentive, thoughtful, kind, gentle, sensitive, considerate, caring and so on.

Showing her you want her, that you want other people to look at her and desire her, even though she is with you, will cause a women's heart to beat that little bit quicker!
'Touching' is the key element. The building blocks begin with small but significant gestures.
Putting your arm around her waist, a soft kiss on the cheek, gently brushing a stray hair off her face, a tight squeeze of her hand.
Women love it because it makes them feel 'wanted' and 'special.'

Snogging in public - well there may be a time and a place, but believe me anybody would rather pucker up in public than not at all!

Ms. Strimpel bleated on in her column about an experience of hers that involved 'public kissing' at a recent awards bash held in a London hotel.
She 'dished' the whole incident, even though she admitted she had already spotted some potential 'eye candy' prior to necking a couple of bottles of vino over dinner and some 'shampoo' at the reception at the beginning of the evening.

The 'cute guy' as she put it was to become her victim, as she made the first purposeful move, and he responded by openly locking lips with her - much to her disapproval it would seem!
His spontaneity, taking the bull by the horns approach, in responding to her initial move had obviously caught her on the back foot, and in her own words she found it, 'frankly off-putting.'
The fact that this guy was happy to make a public show of affection 'appalled her.'
'Taken aback but still up for a snog,' her words not mine, she showed stubborn persistence, suggesting going 'somewhere slightly less public.'

She then talked of the 'pervy stares of the random old men and sex-starved geeks' in the room, watching her public display!

She talks as if she might be a product of a strict upbringing, a convent schooling or as is far more likely the case on the night in question, she suddenly suffered from some kind of temporary morality issue.

Her 'sobering act' was to 'walk away from the guy in question and avoid him for the rest of the night.' Some people might sneer, scoff or goad you, even criticize you, shout 'tease' in your direction, or words to that effect.
Would one be justified in doing so?
As Zoe put it 'she suddenly preferred quiet dignity to public displays of animal desire.'

Nice one Zoe!
Perhaps you should have thought about your values beforehand?

Also Zoe it's a bit rich to say that during your snog you were being stared at by 'pervy old men and sex-starved geeks.'
Zoe love, it does not make you a pervert to pass a fleeting look, or momentary glance at a couple getting up close and personal.
It probably means she's hot and as a guy in that room you would like to be doing something similar yourself - men want her and women want to be like her!
You want to be close enough to that someone to be able to see her pupils dilate, hold her as she stands almost out of her shoes - on the tips of her toes, back arched, with the intimate smell of her perfume peripatetic, and to be able to feel the touch of her soft glowing skin against yours.

Ok, so we do not want people in public undressing each other, grinding up against each other, or playing tonsil tennis.
But for God's sake, seize the day, seize the moment!
Always keep her guessing - she will forever remember, and for that she will be putty in your hands, not a concrete pillar in your bed!

Believe me passion wins over a 'game willing gal,' but if you don't want to be seen in the public domain then Zoe, ask yourself the real reason why balcony's, basements, boardrooms and broom cupboards were really created......along with fire escapes, wine cellars and alleyways!

As she said in her piece, it is for this reason that she now understands why the phrase 'get a room' was invented. Yawn!

I wonder if Zoe is single, or happily single?

DowieGateDisgrace.........Jordan Decree Corroborates Dowie Deceit!

Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan scored a legal victory today when a High Court judge upheld his claim that he was "deceived" by manager Iain Dowie over his reasons for leaving the club.

Mr Justice Tugendhat ruled that Palace entered into a compromise agreement, freeing Dowie from his contract, on the basis of "fraudulent representations" by the manager to the effect that he had NOT contacted Charlton and had NO present intention of joining them.

Flamboyant multi-millionaire Jordan asserted that, as a gesture of goodwill, he agreed to waive the compensation clause because Dowie had stated he wanted to move nearer to his wife and family in Bolton - which was true when he made the statement.

But within days of leaving, Dowie was appointed manager of Charlton - just a few miles from Selhurst Park.
In the event, Dowie left Charlton in November after only 12 league matches and is now in charge at Coventry.

Dowie, 42, had a clause in his contract to the effect that, if he left to join another club, Palace would receive £1million compensation.

Jordan told the judge he would never have reached the compromise had he known he was planning to move to The Valley.

Jordan, who made his millions from the sale of his mobile phone shop chain, Pocket Phone Shop, seven years ago, challenged Dowie's claim that there was a lack of investment in Crystal Palace.

He said he put £30million of his own money into the club in his first three years as chairman.

The question of whether Palace is now entitled to £1million, or some other amount, on the basis that it lost the chance to benefit under that clause will be decided at a further court hearing.

Bring on Dowie & Coventry this season...........I'm sure Dowie will get a truely red hot reception, one that normally befits that buffoon Brucie.

Palace fans put these dates in your diary for the forthcoming season!

Palace .v. Coventry & Dowie at Selhurst Park:- 18th September 2007.
Coventry & Dowie .v. Palace at The Rioch Arena:- 26th December 2007.


See you all there!

Football365`s End-Of-Season Awards-Runner-Up: Palace chairman Simon Jordan interrupting Iain Dowie's unveiling at Charlton by serving him with a writ.

Watch it here!
Click on the 'Link' below to view this memorable occasion!

Link


On 23rd May 2007 Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan (right) was announced as Runner-Up in Football365.com End-Of-Season Awards, in the category 'Appropriate Response Of The Season.'

The 30th May 2006 is now 'officially' etched in the memory of all Crystal Palace fans.
Simon Jordan, the Palace chairman has been honoured for 'services to football, by weeding out the charlatans from the honourable managers' as he went about interrupting a live Charlton press conference unveiling Iain Dowie as the new Addicks boss by organizing the serving of a writ to him, after he allegedly resigned as Palace manager so that he could be closer to his family in the north of England.

Absolutely Marvellous stuff!
Congratulations Simon for a terrific live stunt, and let's hope you are a WINNER when the current court case is concluded.

I'm just 'Glad All Over.'

'Babe Of The Month' - Summer Honey