Wednesday, August 07, 2013

How To Woo Athletic Sporty Women!

Athletic sportswomen are generally hot, but they are often strong and fast, and some guys find this intimidating. Not you're a real man! You like a woman that can open a jar of pickles using just one hand. But how do you win over a woman who possibly views you as weedy or emaciated, and who grew up with several older brothers that she beat up on a regular basis?

Here's the secret guys: It's less about your muscles and more about your character.

Here's a step-by-step guide to winning over that athletic beauty of your dreams!

Step 1: The first date: 

She's very competitive. Lose to her in table football and make it appear as if you lost on purpose, even though you really would have lost anyway.

Step 2: Compliment her beauty: 

Tell her she is "statuesque." Never say she is "big," or or "similar to the Hulk." Tell her she's "toned and sexy," like Jelena Abbou or Cori Nadine, and that she should star in her own exercise video series, which you will own of course and recommend to all your pals.

Step 3: Name the major muscles as you caress her rock-hard body:

Impress her with your anatomical knowledge: "And now I will squeeze the glutes, which are very toned and sexy, and make my way to the pectoral muscles, which are likewise toned and sexy."

Step 4: Massage her feet:

Active women love a good foot massage, and they have beautiful feet from wearing sneakers all the time. Squeeze the arches and pay special attention to her toes. Preen each toe like it's a celebutante. Tug it, separate it from the others and remove the sock lint, if necessary.

Step 5: Choose one of her legs: 

Cuddle into it, the way any lonely man cuddles a body pillow. Just get right in there. Gently lick a dollop of whipped cream off her field hockey bruise.

Step 7: If she has a ruptured ACL:

You need to take a sledgehammer to your own knee, just like how you need to wear a balloon under your shirt during pregnancy.

Step 6: Have a protein shake ready right after sex: 

Fill that glycogen window.
You could even have the blender going while you make the beast with two backs. Just get that post-coital wheat germ shake inside both of your bodies as soon as possible.

Step 8: Tell her that she must have been carved from the hugest diamond at Tiffany's: 

Or just compare her calves to diamonds, then sprinkle actual diamonds on top of them. Propose marriage. Remember, athletic women are not trophy wives......they win trophies!

#Good luck lads!

*You may also be interested to read an an article I wrote back in October 2010 entitled:

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