Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Four Step Guide To Crushing A Beer Can On Your Forehead

Remember the first time you saw John Belushi smash a beer can on his forehead in the genre-busting all-time college party film Animal House?
Since then, anyone who’s ever devoured a cold can of beer at a party or while hanging out with their mates has probably thought about slamming a can on their forehead (naturally, the more beers, the more common the urge).

Why would anyone want to smash a can on their head? It's hard to say.
Macho stunt? Bragging rights? Getting your mug on YouTube? Impressing your friends? Conversation starter?
Whatever reasons you have, and we’re sure they’re good ones, here are some tips to help you achieve beer can head-crush nirvana.

You should expect some pain after pulling off this trick, but you can cushion the blow if you know what you're doing.

Beer, Footy and Birds is in no way responsible for any injury whatsoever that occurs from trying to smash a beer can on your forehead. Whether you’re completely wasted at a party or stone-cold sober at home in front of a mirror, you do so at your own risk.

Here is a four step guide to help you crush a beer can on your forehead and live to brag about it!

Palm the can properly:

For starters, make sure the can of beer is empty. If you can’t ascertain this, it probably means you’re too drunk to be doing anything at all. Call a cab and go home to bed.
So, let’s assume you’ve just finished your beer. The can will probably be a bit warmer than when you started drinking your beer. This is good - the can will collapse better if it’s at room temperature. Next, grab the can and gingerly grip the sides of the can without crushing the can with your grip. You’ll want a can that is perfectly rounded and untouched, for a more dramatic effect and for more bang. Place the can upside down in your palm.

Create a distraction:

Now, pinch in the sides as you swing the can up. This technique helps to subtly weaken the can, making the impact somewhat less painful on your forehead while weakening the can’s metal construction and exterior. It’s very important that this be done on the sly so that your audience doesn’t notice. Think of yourself as a magician - a magician with a buzzed audience who wants to see some beer can wizardry. Like any good magician you can help distract the audience with an exaggerated, loud grunt or yell, or a well-placed fist pump while slyly collapsing the beer can.

Pinch and push:

This step is the 'money shot' and what your audience is rapturously waiting for - it’s time to give them what they want!
The key here is to not actually use your forehead to crumple the can but to tightly pinch the can as it’s hurtling into your sweaty forehead. This step should help effectively crush the can and give the illusion that your burly forehead and not your meaty hands actually crushed the can.

The Casual finale:

The final step when crushing a beer can with your forehead is the casual finale. Let said crumpled beer can fall to ground, and raise your hands in victory. Congratulations! You have successfully crumpled a beer can using your forehead. You are now the talk of the party (for a couple of minutes at least).
Once you’ve crushed the said can, simply hold it up to the crowd and drop the can to the ground and raise your hands in the air with a well-timed fist pump.

STEP 5 (purely optional)
The icing on the cake:

For an even cooler effect, look for a bin and either toss or volley the defeated beer can across the room into the trash, thus creating the opportunity for further adulation and ' hero status.'

Then get yourself another cold beer - you’ve earned it!

1 comment:

Ian at Early Bath said...

Hi Mark. Sorry for posting this here but I couldn't find any contact details.

Could you ping me a quick email to ian #at earlybath #dot

Thanks v much.