Watch The Clip Of Last Saturday's Superb Sky Sports Soccer AM Soccerettee 'Mhairi'

Last Saturday morning for the first time in several weeks I allowed myself some 'me' time before I left for footy, and I took the opportunity to watch Sky's Soccer AM. I have to say this week's show was particularly first-rate!

I have in the past attached clips to my blog of Soccer Am Soccerette's strutting their stuff, to allow for a prescription dose of morning hormonal male drooling.

This week's soccerette segment was one of the better ones, true slapstick comedy and the salient ingredient was of course Mhairi, a gorgeous 21 year old sassy Scottish lass, resplendently leggy and wearing a skimpy pair of buttock hugging shorts to accentuate her virtuoso pins!
For the record she works in recruitment and supports her local team, Hamilton Academicals.
Mhairi is in fact the first Scottish babe to appear on the show this season.

The banter during this part of the show was priceless - the emphasis unsurprisingly one of a Scottish flavour, with a 'Braveheart' slant of sorts.

I thought it was highly amusing and without a shadow of doubt justifiably worthy of of a place on my blog. It turned out to be compulsive viewing.

For those who saw it first time around, you know it's worth another look, and for those who missed it for whatever reason, I have it here just for you!

I have not published a clip of a Soccer AM Soccerette on my site for nearly six weeks so take five minutes out, put your feet up and and see the enchantingly divine Mhairi in this comic spectacle!

To watch it just click on the 'Link' below.


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Mobile Diarrhoea

Am I the only person that feels slightly embarrassed or at least somewhat uncomfortable using my mobile phone in public, in particular on public transport, such as crowded trains and buses.

Last evening (Thursday) I left work in London early, for an appointment, and as a result caught a train from Cannon Street station that left about an hour earlier than the one I would normally catch on a typical working day.
As a result I experienced the seated position on a train for the first time on my journey to or from work since.........penicillin was invented!

I will forgo sitting again in future!

The train was busy, not 'sardine' like busy! There were maybe half a dozen empty seats dotted about from which I could have chosen to sit, but I had the misfortune to park myself next to a woman who 30 seconds after I did so, removed a mobile phone from her bag and surgically attached it to her ear for the entire length of my journey.
The combination of sitting adjacent to the woman in question and the penetrating shrill of her voice meant I could quite clearly hear both parties involved in the conversation.

Normally I try to avoid any idle chitchat on my mobile phone whilst on public transport.
This woman on the train however seemingly wanted the whole carriage to know her business, and how dull was she? The answer, mind numbingly sterile!
In her monotone, arid, inarticulate dialogue she spent the best part of half an hour on her mobile to her partner to inform him she was..........

Held up at the office - No.
Experiencing transport problems - No.
Feeling unwell - No.
Had won the lottery - No.
Had run off with her best friend's hubby - No.

Try dinner!
Yes, half an hour discussing pizza. I would like to point out that she was no wafer thin model and no average sized, well proportioned curvaceous woman.
She was big, not huge but bigger than is healthy!

You may wonder where one might might find half an hours material on the subject of pizza? No problem!

Here we go.......What brand of pizza, what toppings, what base, what size, what side orders, what time, what deals were currently available, what means of obtaining the pizza - collection or delivery?

What a farce!

Even as we went our separate ways I could feel my heart pounding, my head thumping, my blood boiling. I was livid, exasperated, absolutely seething!

How irritating, rude, inconsiderate, uncouth, selfish, egotistical, disrespectful,
conceited, vulgar and common are these people?

Mobile phones are like a rapidly disseminating disease. They are ubiquitous.
With the the pace and hullabaloo of modern day life they are quite simply an irritant, I for one could happily do without.

They should at best be banned on trains, at worst there should be 'phone only' carriages or 'phone free' carriages for people who wish to avoid listening to futile conversations and nauseating ringtones.

Next time you feel yourself about to be drawn into a tête-à-tête, not dissimilar to my recent experience, do yourself and the other people around you a favour - think again!

'Babe Of The Month' - Balkan Beauty!

'From Russia With Love' - The Kremlin

To the Enklish editor.

Good Evenin Zar,
May I say a chilly hallo from Moscow.
I vill keep this brief but I have many peoples to thank.

Thank you....to The Enklish feetball team, I have niver bin to Austria or Switzerland.

Thank you....to McClaren (Steve not Mercedes).

Thank you....to Muddlesbrough for giving you McClaren.

Thank you....to Paul 'Anne Bancroft' Robinson.

Thank you....to referee Luis Medina Vantalejo, sponsored by Abramovich.

Thank you....to the Enklish FA for agreeing to play on plastik.

Thank you....again to McClaren for being cumpletely taktically inept.

Thank you....to the fans for spinding your hard earned loose change in our City and getting a beeting, on and off the pitche.

Thank you....Macedonia for zero-zero at Old Trafford last October.

Thank you....again to the FA for flooding your League viv foreigners and we for flooding the pitche.


Hail.....Tchaikovsky, Pushkin, Tolstoy, Chekhov, Yeltsin, Putin, Gorbachev, Catherine the Great, Brezhnev, Korbut, Sharapova, Karpov, Kasparov, Bubka, Rasputin......to name but a few!

God bless: The Queen, Brown, Prescott, Livingstone, Benny Hill, Brotherhood of Man, Porky Parry, The BBC........


You Enklish people, hinjoy next Summer.
Don't think Austria and Switzerland, more Alton Towers and Southend-on-Sea.

Have a large Stolichnaya on us, and thank you.

Cheers!
Vladamir Rosstoffski
xx.

Fashionably Fed-Up!

On a busy commuter train home from London the other evening I overheard a fascinating conversation between two middle-aged guys.
One was telling the other how he had been out in a bar the previous evening, and an attractive vivacious woman he had never met before came up to him completely out of the blue and openly asked him if he was a Londoner.
Before he could answer she said, "You must be, you look fed-up."

People pre-suppose the hypothesis that smiling is good for you because it makes you appear more attractive!
I suppose it is probably safe to say smiling temporarily relieves stress, and by smiling it in turn raises the cheekbones and reduces that wrinkled effect on the face that tends to be associated with a puckered brow.

I presume the logic behind this theory emanates from the hip, sun soaked, well chiselled plastic fantastic inhabitants of Cali-for-ni-a, who have never done the 'commuting lark' on a daily basis!

Some of the world's so called most attractive men are a bunch of cantankerous morose individuals.
Take actors Clive Owen and Colin Firth, or ex-Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho. They all have contorted faces that ooze pain and anguish, as if they are required to help solve or ease the issues of third world debt!

Some of the world's most gorgeous or lusted after women have or have had partners with visibly grumpy faces.
Look no further than Madonna's hubby Guy Richie or Kate Moss's ex squeeze Pete Doherty and her latest flame James Hince. All of them sour faced and glum looking.

So perhaps smiling is 'overrated.'

If you go to a bar in London and stand there looking bored, at best irritated you become the 'object of desire' - sophisticated, powerful with an air of supremacy.
It has almost become acceptable to display an aloofness towards someone who has caught your eye by pretending not to notice them or by ignoring them. A form of reverse psychology.

Perhaps 'rejection is fast becoming an aphrodisiac'

So if your keen look mean!

Now I don't smile a great deal myself and I know this for a fact because for years it has been remarked upon, although more often than not it has been done so in a polite manner rather than a vulgar or critical one.

So after hearing this two-way conversation on the chuffer, on my arrival home I immediately headed straight for the bathroom.
I turned on the light switch above my shaving mirror rather than the main one.
I feel it works as a safety net mechanism by diluting the intensity of what the main light might reveal.
However I still couldn't hide from my reflection. I was indeed looking awful - gaunt, haggard, drawn, ghost like, macabre!

Yes I WAS definitely looking at the 'epitome of a native Londoner.'

'My Goal Of The Week' - Elano Blumer for Manchester City

Now I know how all footy fans love to see a 'special goal' perhaps a bicycle kick, a long mazy run involving beating several players before unleashing an unstoppable shot, a diving header, a long range volley, a sublime piece of ball trickery, etc.......but sometimes you can't beat a stupendous free-kick hit with fearsome power and deadly precision.

That is why this week I have selected 'My Goal of the Week' as just such a gem. It was scored by Manchester City's Brazilian international midfielder Elano Blumer, (right) during their 3-1 victory against Newcastle on 29th September 2007.

It was the 26 year old's first goal for City since his Summer transfer from Ukranian side Shakhtar Donetsk.

As you will see from the video the ball was hit from nearly 35 yards out, and was travelling at a speed of 76mph.

Some dead-ball strike!

Click on the 'Link' below to see Blumer's stunning free-kick!

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Watch The Clip Of Last Saturday's Superb Sky Sports Soccer AM Soccerettee 'Millie'

Saturday's Sky Soccer AM was a stonker!

How do I know......well the planned awayday to see my beloved 'Eagles' was aborted due to unforeseen circumstances.
Basically one of the lads accidentally 'cocked up' the travel arrangements to Burnley. In a nutshell he bought train tickets for this week, not last week!
We've all done it haven't we......I think!

However it did enable me to get to watch the whole of the show, in it entirety for a change.

This week's Soccer AM Soccerette was the enchanting Millie. She was 26, apparently single and from Cheshire.

All good so far!

That was until she appeared from behind those sliding doors......stood in all her glory wearing of all things, a Man U shirt!

Immediately I lept off the settee and began berating the TV.
No I yelled, please tell me I'm seeing things, this can't be true, rewind.....do something, call social services, call a doctor, anything!

Why I hear you cry?

A Man U fan from the North-West for heaven's sake, that's why!
As far as I was aware all Man U fans live in places nowhere near Greater Manchester. They are more likely to be found in far flung geographical locations usually requiring a 'Lonely Planet' guide book, such as Barnsley, Biarritz, Beijing, Bangkok or Bombay.

I digress. Also making a cameo appearance with Millie the Soccerette was the well rounded Neil 'Razor' Ruddock, who I have to mention I also saw on TV this week, on what can only be described as a bizarre but mildly amusing 'Celebrity Wife Swap.' The ex-footy player was with his very own piece of eye-candy in the shape of a twenty something glamour model. No surprise there then!
The unexpected but entertaining aspect of this particular wife-swap programme was that 'Razor' had to go and spend a week with Pete 'You Spin Me Right Round Baby' Burns, while Pete's male partner spent the week with 'Razors' rather alluring other half.

Anyway back to Soccer AM and after calming myself down with a beer, Millie went on to remove the offending red shirt thus displaying her ample charms, before elegantly parading down the 'runway.'
In addition she also showed off a couple of her very own party tricks. The splits in high heels followed by a demonstration of the 'bridge' body position.......leaving 'Razor' gooey eyed and foaming at the mouth, and me just open-mouthed and feeling old!

So if you missed that part of the show on Saturday, for whatever reason or want to see it again, then just click on the 'Link' below, and see Millie in a variety of positions.

Luxuriate in!

Link

'Babe Of The Month' - Catalonia Cracker!

'My Goal Of The Week' - Marta Vieira da Silva for Brazil at the Women's World Cup.

'My Goal of the Week' was scored by Marta Vieira da Silva on 27th September, for Brazil against the US during their semi-final match in Hangzhou, China at the Women's World Cup 2007.

Marta, only 21 (pictured right) was born in Alagoas, Brazil and plays her club football in Sweden for 'Umea IK.'

She is the 2006 FIFA Women's World Player of the Year, was runner-up in 2005 and is currently the World Cup's leading scorer with seven goals in just five games.

Marta scored twice against the U.S, her second a magnificent individual effort in the 80th minute. Taking a pass from Renata Costa outside the penalty area, and with her back to goal she deftly flicked the ball with her left foot over both her head and that of U.S.defender Tina Ellertson to break into the box. She then cut back inside to avoid defender Catherine Whitehill, before firing a low 12-yard shot with her right foot into the bottom corner of the net to put Brazil 4-0 up.

Brazil's 4-0 rout of the Americans in the semi-final played in front of 47,818 at Hangzhou Dragon Stadium, saw the U.S teams 51-match unbeaten run come to an end.

Now Brazil will play tournament favourites Germany in the Final on Sunday 30th September at Shanghai Hongkou Football Stadium.

The U.S. will face Norway for third place on Sunday in a match that will precede the Final.

Click on the 'Link' below to see Marta's audacious strike!

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Watch The Clip Of Last Saturday's Superb Sky Sports Soccer AM Soccerettee 'Emily'

Again I missed last week's Soccer AM show as I spent most of the my day in the pub either side of watching Palace win a five goal thriller against Sheffield United.

However in doing so I had to forgo seeing the lovely Emily strutting her stuff as the shows Soccerette......and what a hum dinger of a babe she turned out to be!

I can forgive her for being a Wolves fan, because she had a pair of pins to die for......they went on forever and a day!

So if you missed that part of the show on Saturday, for whatever reason or want to see it again, then just click on the 'Link' below, and see Emily in all her glory.

Savour!

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