Beer Goggles - Fact or Fallacy?

Last year researchers at the Manchester University published a study that said 'beer goggles' really do exist and the brain child behind the survey even published a formula to calculate their effect.

Many men have used 'beer goggles' to justify something they have regretted the morning after the night before.
This year some 'dickheads' from the University of Leicester are trying to rain on our parade as they try to chew up and spit out the only decent excuse us guys ever had for waking up the morning after a skinfull with the 'devil woman' lying next to you.........but if recent research is to be believed we can forget the 'beer goggles' excuse from now on!

A psychological study suggests that far from alcohol making men find women prettier, it might even have the opposite effect - making them less attracted to potential mates.
Apparently the demon drink also makes no difference to men's ability to judge a woman's age, and booze also makes no difference to a man's ability to guess a woman's age, the research found.

Scientists asked a group of 240 men and women in bars and cafes to look at photos of women and comment on their age and attractiveness.
Half the participants used in the experiment had consumed alcoholic drinks, with effects rated as 'relaxed and benign', 'blunted and disinherited,' 'boisterous and over-expressive', and 'unambiguously drunk.'

Some of the pictures of 10 young women aged 17 were digitally altered to make them appear younger or older. Make-up was also applied digitally to a number of images.
The findings showed that alcohol reduced the ability of women to guess the age of the photo models, but not men.
Both the effects of alcohol and prettifying a face with make-up had little effect on men's judgement.

Dr Vincent Egan, a Home Office advisor and his 'chuckle brother' colleagues, from the University of Leicester said: 'This study suggests that alcohol consumption and make-up use do not interfere with how old we perceive someone to be.'

Another interesting finding was that overall participants who drank alcohol actually rated all the women in the photos as less attractive, compared to the participants who hadn't drunk alcohol.

This seemingly flies in the face of the commonly held notion of 'beer goggles.' Participants consistently over-estimated the age of both mature and immature faces by an average of three and a half years.

Reporting their results in the British Journal of Psychology, the researchers wrote: 'Although alcohol limited the processing of maturity cues in female observers, it had no effect on the age perceptions of males viewing female faces, suggesting male mate preferences are not easily disrupted.'
'Beer goggles’ could really be the result of lowered inhibitions, or that people are more willing to take a risk.

They clearly didn't use subjects that were drunk enough. After only a few drinks when peoples' inhibitions loosen up it's much easier for them to be mean. You need to get people past that and to the pissed/drunk stage where people just don’t give a toss any more.

Eagan said: 'Men over-estimate women’s ages and this study backs that up' and added 'it also shows that drink has nothing to do with it.'

On a more serious note, they said the influence of alcohol should not be a mitigating factor in the case of a man accused of having sex with someone under-age.
'Our study suggests that even heavy alcohol consumption does not interfere with age-perception tasks in men, so is not of itself an excuse for apparent mistaken age in cases of unlawful sex with a minor,' they wrote.

However if the research from Manchester University needed confirmation then
the 'boffins' at Bristol University also claim ‘beer goggles’ really do exist, and it takes less than two pints to distort people's opinions.

According to one report, Vodka-drinkers were told to rate the appeal of 20 male and 20 female faces on a seven-point scale. The same faces were shown to volunteers who had consumed only soft drinks. The boozers scored the faces 10 per cent higher.
And the effect on men lasted up to 24 hours after alcohol consumption - giving blokes something more than just a hangover to worry about!

Scaremongering or not, in effect this report is saying one and a half pints is all it takes to make a bloke lose the ability to distinguish the difference between a beauty and a beast.

Once we've decided that 'beer goggles' are real, the next thing we need is a way to easily quantify the effect their having on our judgment in real time. That's where the easy to use Beer Google Calculator comes in handy, and is based on the formula originally developed by the geniuses at Manchester University.

Be sure to bookmark the Beer Goggle Calculator on your phone so that you can quickly find it in your time of need. And by 'time of need' I mean in a dimly lit soiled bar while you're waiting for drink number eleven.

FYI
As @ Monday 09 March 2009:

According to the World Health Organisation top of the table for per capita drinking in the World is Luxembourg (15.6 litres per capita) followed by Ireland, with the U.K not far behind at 13.7 litres.
Next is Hungary (13.6 litres), Moldova (13.2 litres), Czech Republic (13.0 litres), Croatia (12.3 litres) and Germany(12.0 litres).
We are ahead of Russia (10.3 litres) and also the United States (8.6 litres).

It remains to be seen if one of the upsides of this recession will be a fall in drinking as more people re-evaluate their lifestyles, values and finances!

'Kissing with Confidence'........Is kissing in public unsexy?

The right to reply:

In response to the very laboured, drearily written article:-
'Quiet Dignity Is Best......kissing in public isn't sexy' by Zoe Strimpel, in Monday's copy of 'The London Paper,' I felt I had to respond vehemently on behalf of all 'Alpha Males' out there with a pulse!
I have not gone soft..........honest!
I just felt a strong desire, call it a fervour if you like, to counter this argument.

Let me enlighten you Ms Strimpel. Individuality and spontaneity (along with clean underwear and fresh breath) go some way in the complex world of wooing a potential female partner, or at least keeping the life in your current squeeze!

Women are always crowing on about how boring and/or unadventurous us lads are when it comes to showing women not so much a good time (a tank full of Stella Artois = a good time), but in terms of the bog standard typical brassy female thought process, there are many a phrase banded around by the opposite sex, that are often alien to some men!
The inventory sits something like a supermarket shopping list.......... they include such idioms as: attentive, thoughtful, kind, gentle, sensitive, considerate, caring and so on.

Showing her you want her, that you want other people to look at her and desire her, even though she is with you, will cause a women's heart to beat that little bit quicker!
'Touching' is the key element. The building blocks begin with small but significant gestures.
Putting your arm around her waist, a soft kiss on the cheek, gently brushing a stray hair off her face, a tight squeeze of her hand.
Women love it because it makes them feel 'wanted' and 'special.'

Snogging in public - well there may be a time and a place, but believe me anybody would rather pucker up in public than not at all!

Ms. Strimpel bleated on in her column about an experience of hers that involved 'public kissing' at a recent awards bash held in a London hotel.
She 'dished' the whole incident, even though she admitted she had already spotted some potential 'eye candy' prior to necking a couple of bottles of vino over dinner and some 'shampoo' at the reception at the beginning of the evening.

The 'cute guy' as she put it was to become her victim, as she made the first purposeful move, and he responded by openly locking lips with her - much to her disapproval it would seem!
His spontaneity, taking the bull by the horns approach, in responding to her initial move had obviously caught her on the back foot, and in her own words she found it, 'frankly off-putting.'
The fact that this guy was happy to make a public show of affection 'appalled her.'
'Taken aback but still up for a snog,' her words not mine, she showed stubborn persistence, suggesting going 'somewhere slightly less public.'

She then talked of the 'pervy stares of the random old men and sex-starved geeks' in the room, watching her public display!

She talks as if she might be a product of a strict upbringing, a convent schooling or as is far more likely the case on the night in question, she suddenly suffered from some kind of temporary morality issue.

Her 'sobering act' was to 'walk away from the guy in question and avoid him for the rest of the night.' Some people might sneer, scoff or goad you, even criticize you, shout 'tease' in your direction, or words to that effect.
Would one be justified in doing so?
As Zoe put it 'she suddenly preferred quiet dignity to public displays of animal desire.'

Nice one Zoe!
Perhaps you should have thought about your values beforehand?

Also Zoe it's a bit rich to say that during your snog you were being stared at by 'pervy old men and sex-starved geeks.'
Zoe love, it does not make you a pervert to pass a fleeting look, or momentary glance at a couple getting up close and personal.
It probably means she's hot and as a guy in that room you would like to be doing something similar yourself - men want her and women want to be like her!
You want to be close enough to that someone to be able to see her pupils dilate, hold her as she stands almost out of her shoes - on the tips of her toes, back arched, with the intimate smell of her perfume peripatetic, and to be able to feel the touch of her soft glowing skin against yours.

Ok, so we do not want people in public undressing each other, grinding up against each other, or playing tonsil tennis.
But for God's sake, seize the day, seize the moment!
Always keep her guessing - she will forever remember, and for that she will be putty in your hands, not a concrete pillar in your bed!

Believe me passion wins over a 'game willing gal,' but if you don't want to be seen in the public domain then Zoe, ask yourself the real reason why balcony's, basements, boardrooms and broom cupboards were really created......along with fire escapes, wine cellars and alleyways!

As she said in her piece, it is for this reason that she now understands why the phrase 'get a room' was invented. Yawn!

I wonder if Zoe is single, or happily single?

'The Lady & The Tramp' - Pounds Sterling OR Poundstretcher!

All hail Mr. Kevin Braddock. (writer for 'The London Paper')
After another lifeless day at the 'orifice' I was on the chuffer home assuming the bog standard bolt upright posture, among the sweaty armpits that filled the air and with my faced pressed to the glass door. Bored of the panoramic grey concrete landscape that was illuminating my journey I dared to open very carefully, with elbows tucked in, as if doing dumbell raises in the gym, today's copy of 'The London Paper' (10 April '07) that had been thrust into my sweaty paw at Victoria Station.

I was instantly drawn to his editorial headline (on page 25) announcing 'Rich Girls Don't Care Too Much For Money.' So after a few minutes of intriguing reading I knew this was well worth sharing.
But to avoid being accused of plagiarism I have 're-worked' the article to give it a more closer to home feel on my part, so as to share with you my own worldly but humble experiences of the article in hand.

Recently a fiery debate has reared its head in the press on the subject of who should pay on a first date, or should I say who doesn't pay?
Well while the debate rages on, let's examine the subject in more depth.

Dating is an old-fashioned expression for taking a chick you fancy out on the town, getting them fully loaded, pretending your interested in anything they are or better still their folks are, even if it is fly-fishing, and to declare that you are in touch with your femine side, so you don't mind doing girlie things.... all as long as in the morning you get to say that icon of all idioms......'there is a cab number by the phone, do what you feels right.'

Dating is not about taking totty home to meet your folks!

Lads: face it. Money talks when it comes to dating.
I have never met totty that has EVER 'admitted' to me anyway, that money doesn't matter. But not all totty is looking for a company director's salary!
Now this is where hope springs eternal for yours truly.

Starting a relationship on a 'financial budget style safeguard' is a a non-starter, and a sure fire way not to make it to second base.(Comparable with missing a penalty in the last minute of a cup semi-final).
You never get to go there again, and it lives within you perpetually.

Expecting women to pay, especially on a first date is like turning up to see your favourite team play the most important game of the year, only to find you have left your season ticket in last nights jeans.
Or equally complaining your date has turned up in high heels and a skimpy micro skirt
instead of a maternity dress and builders boots - No fun, no game, no chance!

But are we missing the point about money & wealth.
What the issue hides is a potentially 'awkward' conversation that draws one into the subjects of status, schooling, success, and therefore possibly being fairly or unfairly categorised on the basis of class.
Any mention of any the above subjects could lead one to an early night home alone!

If you want a relationship in which money is not top of the agenda then the answer is blindingly simple; date someone who is posh, or someone who is unquestionably filthy rich.
Why?

Well not long ago I went out with a lass who was in my world anyway seriously top totty, we are talking fit, designer clothes & shoes, expensive jewellery, all year round 'bona fide' tan, beautiful apartment here & abroad, convertible sports car.....oh and a great personality, no really & truthfully.

She wasn't interested in me for my wealth, prospects or breeding potential. I don't have any.
But to my astonishment she used to prefer to come round to my tiny one bed flat, rather than veg out in her gorgeous apartment where you needed a walking escalator a la airport style just to get from one of the living rooms to the downstairs cloakroom.
At mine we'd sit on the floor watching tv together, chill out, share a couple of half decent bottles of vino, talk title-tattle before finally hitting the sack.

The reason this 'Lady and the Tramp' relationship ended had nothing to do with cash - it was just I was keen, in fact very keen but she was not keen on the very fact that I was so keen - so let's just leave it at that!

The up shot of that relationship was that I was able to ascertain ways to seduce posh girls - or indeed rich girls - should the opportunity arise again.


The rules are as follows:

* Firstly, have no ambition or money (or at least appear that way, in a kind of audacious manner or bravado).
* Having long hair or at least unkept hair combined with a few days excess facial growth is an advantage.
* A well chewed roll up is a must, as is the smoking of illegal substances.
* Don't work and show no interest in the value of anything or even attempt to understand the meaning of wealth.
* Don't mention the subject of 'culture.' You don't do museums, art galleries or period furniture auctions!
* The less salubrious your dwellings the better. Hygienic is adequate.
* Don't be intimidated or overwhelmed by the prospect of weekend breaks to cities and/or resorts you can't even pronounce, let alone pinpoint on a map. Remember you went to school because you had to, not out of choice. Go with the flow and enjoy the ride.
* Last but not least try to be good fun, congenial, and easy going. This can be accomplished in numerous ways. Learn to play an instrument, however shoddily, take up amateur dramatics, write poetry, or at least leave romantic annotations lying around on post-it notes.

I have on one or two occasions for newly acquired totty of course,(now ex-girlfriends) been known to leave brief notes, not shopping lists, more chic romantic expressions of affection, on household mirrors written using lipstick in my own handwriting.
Inexpensive but incredibly effective, added to the fact that they were not my mirrors nor my lippy, so the clear up factor was er......not my problem!

All the above 'rules' guarantee that you fundamentally have no future earning potential no matter which way you try to dress it up.
Stick to these basic rules and a 'Princess' will be yours.

How else can you explain how Pete Doherty charmed quite literally the pants off the once, not so long ago 'attractive' Kate Moss, one of the World's wealthiest models?

Recently I put my class based seduction technique on the back burner and have begun to try and woo a cute chirpy check-out girl at a local Poundstretcher store. She refers to me as 'luv or 'mate' and I'm on the verge of asking her out for a meal to somewhere exclusive - 'Spud U Like' perhaps. The kind of venue that endorses ripped jeans, worn trainers, spiky hair and bottled suntans.

Like it or not money talks, providing the money is talking to the right individual.

'Lass of the Week' - A Brit of Alright!

Pop babe Britney Spears was certainly looking a real 'Brit' of all right in the tabloid newspapers this week.

With a new barnet and oozing sex appeal, she was seen out in Manhattan only hours after news broke that she had dumped her hubby............by text message!
Why is it that ex-girlfriends and/or wives always up their game the moment you’re no longer joined at the hip?

How often have you bumped into an old flame when out & about. Fine, but have you noticed how it only seems to happen on days when your look like you have spent most of it shovelling s**t, in tandem with an alcohol infused spotty teenage boat race.
As you lurch to one side, exchanging 'unpleasant' pleasantries you find yourself staring in amazement at the body of a goddess, that was once your ex.......except that when you were dating her all you seem to recall was somebody resembling Reggie Perrin's mother-in-law!

My dosh is on her next hubby being one of her current bodyguards!