Welcome to my blog. Everything a bloke could want. General comedy and chat about all things Beer Footy and Birds, in no particular order! Enjoy............... Mark.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
What not to buy a man for Christmas!
Last week I posted an article on 'What not to buy a woman for Christmas!'
It provoked quite a reaction, so I have reversed the roles and written an article for women on what not to buy their man for Christmas.
So ladies, if you’re trying to figure out what to buy the guy in your life for Christmas, it might be good to check out this list of things identified as the absolute worst things you can buy for him. Some of these might be a little surprising but see for yourself. If you avoid the things on this list, you might end up buying him something he’ll actually enjoy. You might be taken aback by the mere fact that some of those unwanted Xmas gifts appear on both sexes lists!
Here’s what NOT to buy your guy for Christmas this year........in no particular order!
1/ Hair Treatment.
Don't add insult to injury! If your man's hairline keeps recessing like the tide of a Norwegian Fjord then chances are good that he knows about it. He is probably not happy about this natural phenomenon either, but giving him 'Rogaine' even beautifully wrapped by your goodself this Christmas is definitely not the solution.
2/ One Month Gym Membership.
Yes, yes, yes he has put on a few pounds since you two got together, and then add into the equation all the traditional Christmas fayre and festive parties attended in December - and you can be sure he knows it!
Motivating him to get in shape with a one month gym membership is a bit passive aggressive and a huge turn off. Unless he is asking for the membership as a gift, don't do it.
3/ Back Hair Shaving Kit.
Yes, they do exist. It is basically a razor with a telescope extension designed for back hair removal. Even if he could use some back grooming, don't make this a stocking filler.
4/ Sports-related gifts.
It's okay if you follow the Gunners and he's a Spurs fan. But buying him a club shirt with Sol Campbell printed on the back is just downright unacceptable.
5/ A Puppy.
Giving a living thing as a present without notice is never a good idea.
Yes, puppies make cute gifts, but unless you're planning to feed and walk the little guy every day, it's best not to show up with a barking present. A puppy is something that needs to be talked about first, and picked out together.
6/ An 'Old-Fashioned' cologne/after-shave.
What man wants to smell like a 1980's throwback?
'Denim,' 'Brut,' 'Tabac,' 'Insignia' and 'Saxon' or any other 'out-dated' fragrances are a major no-no for almost all guys.
Girls, would you really want him wearing them anyway?
7/ Turtleneck top.
It's uncomfortable and out-of-style.
You might get away with it if he is planning a ski trip in the next month.
8/ Tickets to the ballet or a Justin Bieber concert (something that you want to see).
Making him sit through four hours of 'Swan Lake' or a Justin Bieber concert isn't cool. Yes, it's an activity to do together, but it's only fun for you. Ladies save this one for your girlfriends.
9/ A book that is meant to improve your relationship.
There's no better way to make your guy insecure and offend him than by giving him a self-help guide or a book that implies that he needs to improve his skills in the bedroom. What man wants to spend his Christmas thinking his woman isn't satisfied?
10/ Bath products.
What guy is seriously going to use bath salts and scented candles? That's why men buy the 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash - so they can shower with as little effort as possible.
11/ Skinny jeans.
Many men think they're too tight. Plus, what guy wants to wear the same pants as his wife? Unless he's part of the hipster scene and wears them already.
12/ Underwear with unusual themes or supposedly witty sayings.
Men's underwear with 'funny' sayings or designs are super cheesy and a waste of money. To buy a product of any sort with phrases such as the following are truly naff:
"Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants" or "Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it,"
13/ Grooming products.
Facial cleanser, deodorant and nail clippers give your man the message that you want him to change the way he looks, or equally could be interpreted as quite simply 'shape up or ship out'............ouch!
14/ Vacuum cleaner.
This is not a present any man would appreciate. Don't think that buying a Vacuum will change his bad habits of leaving his stuff everywhere. Buying him a vacuum for Christmas is the equivalent of him buying you a vacuum for Christmas.
15/ Socks.
You're probably thinking, "Everyone needs socks." We'll keep this simple: you're not his mother!
The clock is ticking and Christmas will be here before you know it. Now that you know a few of the things you should not purchase, how do you know what would be a great gift?
It is the season of giving, so why not start with the most extravagant choice? Ask any man what tops his wish list, and he will say that it's a state-of-the-art television with crisp picture and surround sound for his sports, movies and shows.
If he's not up-to-date on technology, then you need to get him the newest iPad tablet on which he can peruse the Web, e-mail, watch TV shows and movies and do just about everything else! For a personalized touch, engrave his name or initials on the back.
Ray-Ban Aviator glasses. Not just for pilots and policemen, these sunglasses are a classic staple, are flattering on just about anybody and can be worn all year round.
People all over the world were touched by the death of Steve Jobs, and this critically-acclaimed and best-selling book is an intense and fascinating look at the life of one of this greatest businessmen and pioneers of our time.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. If your guy owns a PlayStation then this is a must. Already one of the smash hits (literally) of the season, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is the most recent installment in this extremely popular series of video games.
It may seem cliché, but a beautiful scarf remains a great gift, and a classic Burberry cashmere one just can't be beaten.
Sony MiniDV Video Camera. With a DV video camera like one from Sony, it's easy to import your home movies to a computer for editing and burning to DVD.
Finally, how about the Cyclone II Foosball Table. The Tornado series of foosball tables is widely considered to be the Cadillac of table soccer, and they're certainly built to last. The rods glide beautifully, and the unit as a whole is made to withstand even the toughest, most vigorous foosball play. It may be expensive, but he'll never outgrow it.
Good luck ladies!
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