Ten Classic Football Quotations made by Football Chairman

I've still got my old school report. It says I was dyslexic, backward, mentally deficient and illiterate - all the qualifications needed to be a football club chairman - GEORGE REYNOLDS, Darlington chairman, 2000.

If anyone thinks we're going to give away a company that we've built up over six years at a personal loss in order to satisfy the whims of some Indian with a curry shop, they had better get real - JIM OLIVER, Partick Thistle chairman, spurning takeover interest from a group of Asian businessmen, 1995.

We'll deal with anyone, whether they are Asian, Eskimo or a one-eyed black lesbian saxophone player - JIM OLIVER, Partick Thistle chairman, denying allegations of racism, 1995.

We will serve sheep's testicles as a delicacy in the boardroom. There are plenty of sheep in Wales so it's right that they should make some representation at Ninian Park - SAM HAMMAM, having left Wimbledon and taken over as chairman at Cardiff City, 2000.

I'm off to my 300-acre farm. You lot can bugger off to your council houses - KEN BATES, Chelsea chairman, to the press after Chelsea's relegation, 1998.

At other clubs the directors probably get worried if things aren't going well, and they don't like people coming up to them criticising in pubs and at parties. That doesn't influence me at all. If people start telling me what's wrong with the team, I just say:
'Look why don't you f--- awff ??' - PATRICK COBBOLD, Ipswich chairman, 1981.

The lowest point of the year was hearing Nick Barmby had used the five worst words in the English language: 'I want to join Liverpool.' - BILL KENWRIGHT, after taking over at Everton, 2000.

The Super League idea has about as much chance of getting through as there is of Arthur Scargill admitting he needs a wig - ERNIE CLAY, Fulham chairman, a decade before the launch of the Premier League, 1992.

I'm just a frustrated would-be professional player who in the end wasn't good enough. Today you have prima donnas and they are highly paid. Their intelligence, across the board, is a lot higher than in my day. Comic Cuts was the typical newspaper of the dressing-room in my day whereas now it's the serious papers. We actually got complaints that there was only one public phone in the changing rooms because they wanted to ring their stockbrokers after training - DOUG ELLIS, Aston Villa chairman, 2000.

I don’t give a f*** about football protocol and the other club owners. They want me to sit and have lunch before the games. F*** that. I don’t go to football to drink chardonnay in the boardrooms with those tossers. I go to win games. I don’t have anything in common with 90% of football club chairmen. They don't interest me - SIMON JORDAN, Crystal Palace chairman, 2004.