Welcome to my blog. Everything a bloke could want. General comedy and chat about all things Beer Footy and Birds, in no particular order! Enjoy............... Mark.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Ten Sizzling Football Sex Scandals!
1/ Oliver Kahn
Oliver Kahn is considered as one of the best German goalkeepers of all-time, but his actions off the field did not always go down well with the public.
He received plenty of negative publicity when in 2003 he ditched his pregnant wife Simone to be with night club hostess Verena Kerth, who was referred to as the 'Pierced Party Chicken' by some tabloids.
Bayern Munich commercial manager Uli Hoeness said at the time that the incident made him "vomit," and Kahn got plenty of criticism for his actions.
Kahn and Kerth's relationship lasted intermittently for five years.
2/ Malcolm Allison
The late Malcolm Allison's larger than life image was a mixed blessing.
In 1976, when Malcom Allison was managing Crystal Palace he took the Third Division side to the FA Cup semi-finals and despite his flamboyant nature Allison's managerial career was taking off, but he trashed it!
Allison's outspoken nature and womanising were of great interest to the tabloids and it was reputed that Allison had relationships with Christine Keeler of the Profumo scandal, singer Dorothy Squires and two Miss UK's.
In 1976, Allison received a Football Association disrepute charge after a News of the World photograph appeared showing him in the Crystal Palace players' bath with porn star Fiona Richmond whom he had invited to a training session. Ruining his career, Allison can take heart in knowing Richmond's biography "Tell Tale Tits" was more than likely dedicated to him!
3/ Tommy Docherty
After winning the FA Cup with Manchester United in 1977, then manager Tommy Docherty had the football world at his feet as he made plans to challenge Liverpool for domestic glory - until he was sacked for having an affair with the physio's wife Mary Brown, a woman 18 years younger than himself. And how many acres of newsprint would be expended on the story today had a contemporary Old Trafford boss left his wife and four children for the physio's missus?
Docherty told the press he was being punished for falling in love, but the United board were having none of it, sacking him for being in breach of his contract.
The Doc himself started ultimately unsuccessful legal proceedings against the board for defamation and wrongful dismissal, announcing his decision while sporting a black eye given to him by cuckolded magic-sponge man Laurie Brown.
The affair also resulted in the end of his marriage to Agnes, who had been his wife since December 1949. Tommy later married Mary Brown and they are still together after more than 30 years.
United fans mourned their loss with this creative reworking of Knees Up Mother Brown:
"Who's up Mary Brown? Who's up Mary Brown? Tommy, Tommy Docherty."
4/ Dwight Yorke and Mark Bosnich
No player has made a more impressive entrance to Manchester United than Dwight Yorke.
Having arrived from Aston Villa for £12.6million in August 1998, he managed to make both the back and front pages of a Sunday tabloid a month later when it printed stills from a video found in the player's rubbish, which showed he and former Villa colleague Mark Bosnich involved in an orgy with four women and a transvestite, the keeper being whipped by one leather-clad blonde while Yorke had sex with her friend.
Former Villa ace Yorke and Australian keeper Bosnich secretly filmed themselves with the four women, and this was capped off with the fact that, during the orgy, Bosnich was curiously seen to be wearing a skirt.
Yorke is then said to have thrown the sordid video tape in the bin where a tabloid reader found it and exposed the story to the world.
It ushered in a golden age of Yorke shagging stories, of which his former landlady and friend Sheila Dudley memorably said: "If some girl comes to his house with her knickers in her handbag, it's up to him, isn't it?"
Best among them was the conquest Yorke had convinced that he was a local postman named Brian. She said of their trip to a nightclub: "People were coming past and saying 'hello' to him and he said it was because he delivered their letters. I believed him. He seemed a lovely bloke."
Hailed by the Old Trafford crowd with the song, "Dwight Yorke, wherever you may be, You are the king of pornography," the striker harumphed that the chant "set a bad example to kids," shortly before Sir Alex Ferguson sold him to Blackburn Rovers.
5/ Garrincha
Garrincha, also known as the 'little bird' became infamous for his off-field conquests.
After lighting up the 1958 World Cup with Brazil, Garrincha returned to Sweden on tour where he got a local girl pregnant. On his return home he was greeted by angry supporters. He then ran over his father and was found drunk at the wheel with no recollection of the events.
Things didn't stop there as seven years later Garrincha walked out on his wife
and eight daughters for a samba singer. The late Brazilian is alleged to have lost his virginity when he was 12 with wait for it........a goat and fathered at least 14 children in his bed hopping career.
6/ Ashley Young
In 2007 Ashley Young brought a whole new meaning to a pre-match routine, showing a lot more skin than required when he was caught exposing himself on the internet.
The scandal was revealed in British tabloid The News of the World and told how the then Aston Villa star and 'serial diver' had stripped and performed a sex act for a girl he had just met on the internet hours before he made his England international debut.
7/ Ronaldo
In 2008 Brazilian World Cup winner Ronaldo caused a stir while recovering from injury in Brazil when it was revealed he had picked up three prostitutes after dropping his fiancee at home.
But to the three times World Player of the Year's surprised he discovered the women he was about to do the dirty with were actually men.
Ronaldo, who was reported to be "very excited and wanted to go out and have fun," is said to have offered money to buy the prostitutes' silence, but one of the transvestites demanded more money before exposing the whole lurid tale to the media.
8/ Wayne Rooney
Before he became a Manchester United star, Wayne Rooney was finding his way in the world playing for Everton and having sex with aging prostitutes.
In 2004 Rooney, who was at the time dating his future wife, 16-year-old Coleen, was caught out visiting a brothel in the backstreets of Liverpool and then became known as the footballer who liked to visit grannys, after his conquest with a prostitute dubbed by her fellow compatriots the 'Auld Slapper' was revealed.
Rooney is alleged to have paid £45 per visit and this included one time when he slept with a 52 year-old granny and mother of seven.
Wayne even signed an autograph for one of the strippers Charlotte Glover, a prostitute who spoke up after the story unfolded revealing that Rooney paid her £140 for sex in a bathroom in a shabby flat and left her a signed note which read: "To Charlotte, I sh*gged u on 28 Dec. Loads of Love. Wayne Rooney."
9/ Franck Ribery, Karim Benzema and Sidney Govou
A sex scandal back in 2010 involving French footballers Franck Ribery, Karim Benzema and Sidney Govou resulted in them being questioned by the police following allegations they had been using the services of an under-aged prostitute. Ribery winger even admitted of having sex with a 17-year-old prostitute called Zahia, although he said he had thought the girl was over 18.
Sidney Govou and Karim Benzema were also linked to the scandal, although the pair denied any wrongdoing. The scandal was only a tip of the iceberg as far as the France national team are concerned, with all their dirty laundry revealed at the World Cup 2010.
10/ John Terry
Football fans were also in for a shock in 2010 as John Terry, one of England and Chelsea's most influential players, was caught cheating on his wife with Vanessa Perroncel, an underwear model and ex-partner of former Stamford Bridge teammate Wayne Bridge - rumours also suggested he had got her pregnant and paid for her abortion.
Although his wife may have decided to give him "one more chance" the revelations did cost Terry the chance to lead England at the 2010 World Cup. The 29-year-old also lost the respect of many fans as they declared they were with "Team Bridge".
Terry also got his comeuppance live on TV when Bridge refused to shake his hand, or even acknowledge him, when Chelsea met Manchester City in a Premier League clash a few weeks later.
Monday, September 09, 2013
How the 'Cookie' Crumbles!
Chris Coleman - Plenty of food for thought! |
As football fans we are all aware of the club versus country argument, the failure of players to deliver on the pitch, should they actually grace us with their presence in the first place, along with the worrying lack of passion and desire to proudly wear the national shirt by many of these men that have been blessed with a gift for a sport that rewards them handsomely in more ways than one is baffling!
Our respective nations have failed to perform over many years now and most of us have our own views and thoughts as to why we are so limp in our attempts just to qualify for major tournaments let alone win anything. It doesn't look like things are going to change dramatically in the next few years and I would be surprised if I see any nation from the British Isles come close to winning a major trophy in my lifetime.
The reason I say that is because the events of last week simply re-iterate my disillusionment with our game at international level - farcical!
'Cookie' in his Palace playing days. |
The 2-1 defeat in Skopje was not a major surprise, it was typical old-school Wales as they ended up losing a game they should have won, but the humiliating 1-0 defeat inflicted on the Wales under-21 side by their counterparts from San Marino, (that nation’s first competitive victory at any level since their under-17 side beat Andorra in 2002) simply compounded a farcical week. At the heart of all that has been the line peddled by optimists about the supposed existence of a conveyor belt of young talent that would, in time, emerge to make Wales a different proposition.
'Cookie' joined the squad late in Macedonia, missing the final training session because he had lost his passport and missed the flight on Thursday. It was an oversight unfortunate enough on its own without the way it was compounded by Coleman’s claims that his subsequent late arrival didn't matter, because when Wales train abroad they do "next to nothing".
‘Cookie’ knows a lot of people are going to be looking at these turn of events and thinking that’s amateurish.
Then of greater consequence were his tactics and the clutch of what appeared to be mystifying substitutions the manager made as the game slipped away from Wales.
Why bring on defensive midfielder Andrew Crofts when they had Macedonia on the rack? Why bring on full-back Adam Matthews for an attacking midfielder? Why introduce striker Sam Vokes with just five minutes left?
Coleman also left the world’s most expensive player, Gareth Bale, on the bench rather than introduce him even for five minutes. There’s no suggestion at all of anything underhand on either Coleman’s part or Bale’s.
Coleman says he spoke to the player on the day of the game and he was not ready. Fine!
Coleman argued vehemently that Bale was only put among the replacements to provide psychological ammunition. But in deciding to put him on the bench, while having no intention of using him, Coleman opened himself up to inevitable criticism if the result went against Wales, which it subsequently did. I understand the psychological game he was playing but the ‘fear factor’ was only going to work if he’d brought him on. By not doing so, it was neither here or there.
I’d like to think Bale was genuinely injured on Friday night and could not play a part in Macedonia, but there’s a lot of politics involved in players – especially ones as expensive as Gareth – in playing for their countries.
Coleman has now presided over 11 competitive international matches. He’s won three, drawn one and lost seven.
Worryingly, in the last seven competitive encounters his team have scored seven times, but only twice from open play – Bale’s wonder-strike against Scotland at Cardiff City Stadium and Hal Robson-Kanu’s header in the return match at Hampden Park.
The defeat mathematically ended Wales' remote chance of overhauling Group A's top two Belgium and Croatia but ahead of the Macedonia game, the manager spoke about the importance of chasing third spot in the group and thus securing an improved seeding for the Euro 2016 qualifiers.
But if Wales lose to Serbia on Tuesday that’s another target which will be all but gone. You have to think the quest then will simply be to avoid finishing rock bottom of Group A. If they do then there is a good chance another home nation, Scotland could fill that void.
I hope that does not happen, but if it does, Coleman, just like any of his peers in the same position, would have to think long and hard about his future.